He further stoked the fires, claiming that women born and brought up in the city are just money minded and cannot make good wives since they can neither cook nor do basic household chores. He also claimed his city wife deserted him when he was sick.
He recently married a village girl, three decades younger.
Ken Oloo, a marketing executive firmly stands behind Ole Kamwaro’s school of thought. “I would gladly go for a village girl. They are humble and hardworking,” he says. He explains that as much as he would go for a village girl, he would never marry an uneducated village girl.
“If I was to marry right now, I would get a woman from the village and who also has a degree from a university in the countryside like Egerton or Maseno. They aren’t as hyper as city girls, and I think they can make good wives,” says Ken.
The main reason, most men seem to prefer village girls is the assumption that girls from the village have been taught how to take care of their husbands and households.
“It is true, city women are worse. Village women have been nurtured to be wives, yet majority of city women want to compete with husbands,” says Pastor Robert Buralle, a senior pastor at Fathers Hand International Church in Nairobi. The man of God, however, says marriage is a commitment between two people.
“As long as love exists and in the eyes of the Lord, the couple decides to get married, then they should stick to their vows,” says Pastor Buralle.
He, however, warns, as much as most city women don’t want to admit it, even the Bible states that the man is the head of the house.
“But in today’s world, many women will want to be head of the house, especially if they earn more money than the man. I think many women who have given their lives to God have happier marriages because they follow teachings in the Bible. Where women err is trying to compete with a man; men have a very simple mentality, the parties, the alcohol and everything in the fast lane. By the time she wants to get married, she will have settled. If you marry a village girl, she will spend the first two years adjusting to the culture shock, before she settles down,” says Steve.
Akinyi Helen echoes his comments. She says: “Village girls make good wives as long as they continue living in the village. The moment they are exposed to city life, that’s when trouble starts.” Akinyi advises men to marry a city girl if he intends to settle the family in the city but marry a village girl if the household will be based in the village. She, however, says she can marry a village boy or a town boy because men aren’t easily influenced by new culture as women are.
“I’d marry any guy so long as he seems committed. I think men are rarely influenced by changes in the environment. Haven’t you seen men who have stayed in Nairobi for years and when they step into a room, you will instantly see the village in them, from the way they dress, speak, posture and eat?” poses Akinyi.
Sifuna Walter, who has been married for 22 years, says when he looks at today’s generation, he doesn’t see wives at all.
“I am worried for my son, because I know he will find it so hard to get a good wife the way his mother has been a good wife to me,” he says adding that he would advise his son to marry a village woman.
“The most difficult women to compromise are village women. A city girl will easily give in to a man to get the good things in life, while a village girl will not be impressed by material wealth, but all that is now changing slowly,” laments Sifuna.
He argues that even if he was to marry a city girl, he would never marry a journalist or a lawyer.
“They can’t submit and lead erratic lifestyles, they are poor choices for a wife,” he insists
Lydia Anjiro, a mother of two says the issue about city girls versus village girls is misplaced.
“Any woman can make a wife. It is upon any man to make a wife out of her,” she insists.
Psychologist, Faith Nafula Atsango says most successful marriages don’t just happen by default.
“It’s the couple who makes a decision not to let go of the marriage. Marriage requires continuous growth and this growth is nurtured by trust, effort and reciprocity,” says Nafula.
She adds that issues to do with background might come into play when a couple isn’t compatible.
“It’s wrong to say that marrying a village girl will ensure you have a successful marriage. It is the commitment and effort both of you put in the marriage,” says Nafula.