There are boring people out here. So dull you have to daydream through the date, hoping that the ordeal will stop. I have survived some really bad dates. She was a nice person. And like all nice and sweet people, she was too slow for my taste.
Boring dates come in two types. You have the extroverted girl who is so full of herself, you will doze off listening to her. She will throw tantrums on the first day, snob on the restaurant you take her to and generally set for herself unrealistic standards, before her heel comes off and you have to look for a cobbler in the street. Shady is the word here.
She will then demand a taxi to her bedsitter in Kahawa Sukari Estate even after fingering your food with disdain. Take her out and she wants sausages or samosas that are sold outside nightclubs. Or worse the boiled eggs. Then she will mix her drinks. Order Tequila shots. And puke inside your car or belch something that smells like a pig just broke wind. A man will never forgive a woman who vomits inside his car on the first day.
Is it an interview?
Then you have your introverted girl who scarcely knows why she exists in this damn world. She is so soporific; you cannot even fake a smile or a laugh on the first date. They scarcely know what they want in life. She will not know the right food to order. She will be afraid of offending you, so she will pick what you will pick, afraid not to come across as expensive. She will speak to you when spoken to. It will more or less be like an interview.
Both the two types of boring dates scarcely watch movies or have some taste in music to share notes on the first day. Come to think of it, people who don’t have a sense of music need psychiatric attention. You just can’t go through life without appreciating music. No way.
Dull female introverts rarely take alcohol and lean more towards religion. Now a boring, saved woman is something else. They are angels you will never want to offend. Hence we leave them alone.
Boring extroverts
A woman who never reads a book, never watches a movie and never listens to music is difficult to deal with. For boring extroverts, their idea of the clichéd going out is lots of alcohol and sex. You can only do these for so long. And the extroverts have a way of getting ahead of themselves that is a turn off.
My idea of a first date is talking to an intelligent woman who knows at least what is going around the world. One that can pick a good meal for herself, appreciate a good joke, handle her alcohol and can dance without rubbing her groins on every man on the dance floor. Above all, one that goes to her place on the first date. Not making breakfast for me on the second day.
If women judge men on the first impression, men are harsher critics. For most men, first dull dates translate to bad bedroom encounters. It is as simple as that. Hence the reason we never call back.
Photo: madamenoire.com
@nyanchwani
snyanchwani@standardmedia.co.ke