The unwritten with: Catherine Mwangi – on KTN, dating, friendship and God

• KTN’s Catherine Mwangi says that Catherine Kasavuli was everything
• She described her as an excellent journalist who was ahead of her peers
• Catherine Mwangi is the head of TV production, programming and creative

When KTN’s Catherine Mwangi and I meet at The Boma Hotel on an early Thursday morning, our interview starts out rather messy.

We change sitting positions around the hotel’s Atrium about three times, she complains I’m too fussy and then concludes we might as well do the interview while standing. We laugh.

When I explain that I don’t want spoons, forks and knives as part of the audio recording, Catherine puts her journalism cap on and immediately understands.

Once settled at the hotel’s Business Center, Catherine, who is in: simple cornrows, a blue and white printed top, smart-casual pants and black flat shoes, takes out a black scarf from her handbag, wraps it around herself, gets warm, and smiles at me. She’s ready. I feel uncomfortable.

In a top, blazer, pencil-skirt and heels, I feel overdressed. I should have known this was going to be more of a pleasant, no-holds-barred chat than a heavy, guarded interview.

Catherine’s is a story any writer would want, but she does not give interviews easily. She, however, once got two interviews done.

On both occasions, she showed up, answered all the questions, then later called and instructed not to have the stories published.

She tells me she almost called to cancel our session twice, the night before the interview, and the night before that. But she, thankfully, and for “some strange reason,” did not.

For someone who works in television, Catherine has appropriately lived quite the colourful life, especially in her 30s. A lot of this colour stems from her relationships.

Catherine, 38, gets bored of her romantic partners very fast, she has dated church apostles,  has no actual friends in Kenya, does not fraternise with her colleagues, has mentors who live abroad, and describes God as her everything.

Here’s more on the unapologetically, no-nonsense, Catherine Mwangi:

Why don’t you take wine?

(Stunned) What? How would you possibly know that?

I tend to know things.

(Still stunned) No, but that! How would you possibly know I don’t take wine?

I don’t know how to answer that question Catherine. 

(Bursts into laughter) Wow. Just wow!

Did you use to drink and then quit?

No. I tried wine once, at a wedding in Uganda, the guy I was seeing at the time forced me to try it. I immediately looked for a napkin and spit it out.

Alright. That’s quite the reaction.

Yeah, I know. I never missed out on anything before that. And trying it out that day confirmed that I really wasn’t missing out on anything. I’m still not missing out on anything.

What’s your official job title at The Standard Media Group?

Head of TV Production, Programming and Creative.

Are you excited to be on-screen now, as opposed to being behind the scenes?

It’s great doing KTN Life & Style. It wasn’t really my plan, but one of my colleagues suggested it one day based on my love for books and writing.

I was a little hesitant based on my official job title and description, but we eventually decided to go ahead with it. I, however, was a presenter when I was first starting out. I did Art Scene.

Right, with Misiko Andere?

Oh! You remember! Yes, I was, in fact, leaving the show and Misiko was taking over from me.

Kenyan media has largely been accused of losing its credibility, what’s your response to this?

I almost want to say, and I will say, that there’s some truth to that, but it’s selective truth.

Look, you’ve got to realise, the media is not inanimate.  There are people in the profession who don’t stay true to their values, and it gives us all a bad name. The credibility issue is a huge one, and it is everywhere. It started in the West before it got to Kenya. It’s almost like a pandemic.

Does the brown envelope phenomenon have a significant role to play in this lack of credibility?

Yes. Unfortunately. And it’s because many people get into the industry and quickly forget what their personal values and missions are.

It’s very unfortunate that sometimes all it takes to embellish an impactful story is a loaded envelope.

But then again, doesn’t our economic fabric have a lot to do with these envelopes? Not all media jobs pay a decent enough amount to comfortably survive on.

That is true. And that is exactly why you need to know what your mission is before you get in.

Our economic fabric notwithstanding, you should be operating with integrity. If you take the job knowing what it offers and the terms that come with it, accept it as is and be comfortable with it.

Those envelopes give too many people sleepless nights. They are not worth it.

There’s a stereotype that Kenyan “media girls” are always looking for the extravagant life, is it a valid one?

It happens. A lot. And it is sad. You want to be known for your work. Not for an expensive weave, over-exaggerated nails and a tight skirt.

It’s really unfortunate, because when you sit down with some of these people, or look at their social media pages, you can see the sadness in their eyes.

You can tell they are trying too hard. The fame that comes with the media is nothing but an illusion.

Is there pressure for women on the job, to sleep with their male counterparts in order to get to the top?

No.

No?

None. Not that I know of. And particularly not at The Standard Media Group, not since I’ve been here at least. We don’t allow it.

Is there a Kenyan, female journalist, whose work you’ve always admired?

Oh, wow. What a question. (Thinks) If I really had to name someone, and this is based on being a news anchor, not a journalist, because those are two very different things, I would say Catherine Kasavuli.

Catherine was everything! She could come back today and none of these people we see on our screens now would be able to hold a candle to her. None. She was good!

And a male journalist?

Okay, you’re now pushing it Yvonne; don’t push it. (Laughs)

Are you saying we don’t have, not even one, decent male journalist in the country?

I mean…(long pause)…gosh. I have to think really hard. But I think, again, just in terms of being a news anchor, perhaps Michael Oyier.

I didn’t get to work with him, but in my mind, he came across as professional. He looked like someone who would come, do his job, and leave.

He didn’t look like he had drama, but that’s just in my mind. I could be wrong.

Do you,  after getting a tough story done, unwind with your colleagues?

I do.

And you never feel the pressure to drink, not even with them?

(Laughs) You know, that’s a very valid question.

My not drinking has created a few obstacles a number of times, where the team and I go out after successfully completing a project, and we have to weigh the options.

They want to party hard, and I just want a quiet meal and a good conversation. We often eventually agree to dine, I take the bill and then I let them enjoy themselves.

Do you feel like you are missing out on “the good times?”

Not at all. I’ve had too many good times. In this industry, you can easily get everything you want.

I’ve had flowers dropped at the office, received random calls from CEOs, been treated for lunch at The Norfolk, dinner in Karen, taken trips out of town.

Oh, I did it all, especially in my 30s.  I had more fun than I ever did in my 20s. The challenge is in knowing how to stay grounded.

How does one stay grounded?

For me, it was God.

My relationship with God is extremely unshakeable.

What are your professional relationships like?

They are okay. We get the work done. We are not there to make friends. We are there to work. And establishing those boundaries is essential.

Can your colleagues become your friends?

No, if we work together, you are my colleague. You are not my friend. People judge me a lot on this, they say I’m too rigid.

That’s fine, but I’ve found that knowing where you stand with me has helped me a whole lot in this industry.

What about people who get to work with you without really knowing how to deal with you?

(Laughs) Yeah, that can be an issue. Like recently, we were shooting Restaurant Of The Week and this chef came up to me and called me “darling.”

 I went silent. Then I looked at him and asked, “What did you just call me?” I declined to film after that.

What followed?

The chef got confused. He said he refers to every woman he deals with like that. That explanation didn’t make matters any better. I didn’t understand it.

What gave him the right to call me, “darling?” At what point, did we establish so much rapport that he felt he could comfortably refer to me with terms of endearment? It’s very degrading and I don’t stand for such things.

Are you dating?

No. I’m at a point where I’ve decided the next relationship has to be “it.”

Wow. Isn’t that a lot of pressure?

Pressure in what sense?

Pressure on you, on the next person you meet, on the process itself?

No. There is no pressure. The process will certainly still be there: dinner here, lunch there, coffee tomorrow, but I can now tell very fast if it’s going somewhere. As soon as I realise it’s not, I stop it.

Do you like dating?

(Bursts out in laughter) I do. But I’m a full-blown introvert, and I get bored very fast.

I am also extremely stimulated by intelligence. Nothing gets me going more than intellectual conversations.

I don’t want to hear stories about how you had pizza and went out partying until 2a.m. That does nothing for me.

What kind of partner are you looking for?

Intelligent. I want depth. And I always prefer men who are older than me.

What have some of your dating experiences been like?

Oh, how much time do you have? (Laughs)

Which ones were the most impactful for you?

I once dated men who were in the church, but I didn’t meet them in church. Both men also just so happened to be apostles. 

Like, dedicated, staunch, well-known, religious people with their own churches.

You would ordinarily think this would be the greatest thing ever. I was so sure God was giving me a sign.

But He wasn’t?

Oh no! If anything, it must have been a sign that I needed to run!  Goodness, those were the most intense and most dramatic relationships of my life!

I dated the apostles back to back. Those relationships were the most draining Yvonne, the most draining!

When they didn’t work out, it was hard, but I crawled out of those relationships. That was a tough period, but God saw me through it. Now I’m fine. (Laughs)

And your most recent dating experience?

(Shakes head) I went out with this guy I met online. He’d been messaging me for weeks on social media. I was hesitant, but my mentor convinced to take the chance and I gave in, decided to play along.

But there was no chemistry. And I don’t have time to sit and wait for chemistry to develop. It’s either there or it isn’t.

So you blocked him?

So I blocked him. (Smiles) I tried talking to him but he wasn’t getting it. Blocking was the answer. But look, I’m the queen of blocking. No, really, I block people like you don’t understand.

And your friends, tell me about them, what are they like?

I don’t have friends in Kenya.

How do you mean?

(Laughs) I don’t have any friends. I have many surface-level acquaintanceships.

There are people who I talk to, who I can meet for tea or lunch, but I don’t have people who I can actually say are my friends in the truest sense of that word.

Do you wish you had friends?

I mean, the few friends I have are in Europe. Some serve as my mentors. I’m very grateful for them. I can text them “SOS” and they’ll know it’s urgent.

 They’ll do everything to get on Skype or phone as fast as they can. And these are very busy people. Those, are friends. A few others are in Uganda.

Do you want friends in Kenya?

I do, and I’ve tried. I’ve really tried to make friends, but it’s hard. I mean, I don’t want to hear about how Sofapaka is doing, I can read about Sofapaka.

Don’t tell me about how you have this party you really must attend and you need a new pair of shoes, yet your closet already has 10 pairs. I can’t deal with that.

Let’s have a discussion about how we are going to build this country. Or let’s discuss how we can be a plus to the youth in Kibera. That, I will enjoy.

However, there’s a part of me that really likes people.

If I could get at least three decent, non-dramatic, clean, friendships, I would be very happy. I would be elated.

What are you hoping to accomplish by the time you turn 40?

Jeez! Could we just turn 39 first? (Laughs amid sips of coffee)

Okay, what are you hoping to accomplish at 39?

I want to go continental with my work. I have a few ways and plans on how I’m going to do that, I’m working on it.

Do you think you’ve finally come into yourself?

No, I don’t think I have. I don’t think anyone ever comes into themselves. You think you’re so solid one day, and then something happens the next and you begin figuring things out anew. I don’t think anyone ever does.

What lessons have your romantic and platonic relationships taught you?

That everyone wants to be loved. And sometimes it just doesn’t work out, for many reasons. Move on, get over it, and don’t build a tent on it. Don’t build a castle on pain. Those people were looking for something too.

What advice would you give to young people hoping to get into the media?

Get ready. Every day is different. And now, more than ever, things are changing. Learn, read, evolve. Know why you are getting into it. Have an exact reason, so that when you get in, you don’t succumb to the temptation of brown envelopes, embellishing stories and the fast life. Also, when you stop enjoying the job, get out.

And what advice would you have, for a current 26 year old?

Relax. You will go places.  You will travel the world. You will have relationships. You will start businesses. You will get jobs.

You will make money. All these things you are dying to have, you will have them. Relax.

How did you find the interview?

(Shakes head) I’m not sure about this entire conversation. It was very easy to get lost in it. I’m worried.

I’m worried that I really enjoyed it, so much so that I may have told you too much (laughs). But I will leave it in your capable hands.

Any last words?

(Lets out a huge sigh of relief) I’m so happy to be alive today. I’m so thankful to God. Every day is like an adventure. It’s an opportunity to impact someone, in some way. It’s not all about me.

 Update: immediately this story was published today, like with every other guest, I called Catherine to let her know the story was up.

She couldn’t stop laughing. And couldn’t tell me why. And then, just as I was  about to hang up, I remembered.

During the interview, Catherine mentioned that she is a Libra. I asked her if her birthday this year had already passed, and she laughed even louder. A warm, boisterous, hearty laughter.

She turns 39 today.

Oh, Catherine, I hope this mini-summarised-biography adds to your joy today. Happy Birthday!

Yvonne Aoll is a writer who is keen on telling people's stories. You can read more of her work at  http://www.yvnaoll.com/