I will turn 30 any moment from now. There is some begrudging pain in my heart that I never milked enough from my 20s. I never messed around enough, never played enough, never drunk enough, never did enough for the only period in man's life that truly counts; you have the energy, the explosive libido, and the brains to actualise anything. Now, I have this nagging fear that I may never swim out of the conformity that comes with the 30s.
However, I will not mourn. Instead, I have asked myself, if Plato, Socrates and Aristotle were alive today, what kind of wisdom, would they dispense. And here, I have it raw. Some may sound cliched, while others might be familiar for those who read this column regularly.
Here are 30 great life lessons:
- No sooner you marry, than all the beautiful women you always craved for throw themselves at you. Be contented with your wife.
- Ensure your kids only go to universities and colleges in big cities. In Kenya, only Nairobi counts. It exposes them to the best opportunities. A 'bad' course in a city university is 10 times better than a crappy science course from a university in the bush.
- Don't ever pay college fee for a woman, be she your wife or a prospective wife. She will treat you like a broken broomstick after graduation.
- Nobody really knows what they are doing. We are all trying to pay bills, whichever way.
- Don't assume that women don't fart.
- Always treat your wife and kids as human beings. They will treat you as one in your old age. Or in your sickbed.
- Forget the past. Live now. Leave the future to God.
- The best place to sort out the mess in your life is mostly where you are standing. And avoid dragging people into it.
- When gossiping, don't do it online. Screenshots of your giggly and conspiratorial chats can make Judas Iscariot look like a saint.
- As a man, always be the head of the house. Always.
- Once some women climb one social ladder, their level of contempt multiples tenfold. As a man, just marry down.
- Don't ever make plans with a woman's money.
- Women are biologically and genetically ungrateful.
- Sometimes the worst things that happen in life bring out the best outcomes, don't 'over-mourn.'
- Ensure your kids choose their ancestors properly
- Drink water. Lots of water.
- Learn to say no to any beer bought after 2am. If married, go home before midnight.
- Confidence in life is sometimes better than intelligence. Make sure your kids have lots of it.
- Some friendships will die a natural death. Leave them alone. Only one per cent marry the love of their lives. The rest are trapped via unwanted pregnancies.
- Food in five-star hotels is overrated.
- Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Our paths in life are so different and the world so big, there is always something for everyone.
- Always strive to be a free person, immune to people's judgement. Do your thing.
- Procrastination is a killer of dreams.
- Read good books and use the knowledge appropriately.
- Travel
- Pay your debts. Always.
- Never define success and happiness by material possessions. Make it a state of the mind.
- Work hard, but possess a heart that can be contented with the prevailing circumstances.
- Always have friends you can count on.
- Don't raise a family in New York, or Kisumu.
