When a woman is the man in the relationship

A while back, a friend of mine let it slip that she was feeling like the man in her relationship. She had just started going out with a guy who she was besotted with and I was surprised that there was already trouble in paradise.

When I probed her further on what she meant by saying she felt like the man in the relationship, she let me in on her boyfriend's eccentric behavior that she reckoned was a major turn off. She told me that her new beau took criticism extremely personally and would give her the silent treatment after they got into an argument.

She also revealed that he had a tendency of storming out of the house when they disagreed on something. He was also extremely insecure and would go on a rampage when he saw her being friendly with other men.

He had a fragile temperament. One minute he would be stomping off in a huff and the next he would be groveling at her feet begging for forgiveness. My friend was also concerned about his habit of making mountains out of molehills. He would constantly whine and moan about how the world was unfair to him and would curl up in a ball of misery every time something did not go his way at work.

As I listened to my friend's relationship woes, it became apparent that she was dealing with the exceptional sensitive man. While sensitivity in a man can be an endearing quality, it also presents unique difficulties in a relationship owing to the fact that men are still held to a standard of masculinity. All men struggle to conform to the stereotype of the macho tough and rugged man, who hides his feelings, sucks it up, and soldiers on when faced with adversities. A man who gets overwhelmed by emotions is regarded as weak.

Dating a sensitive man is not easy. Sensitive men present many of the emotional traits considered to be feminine. They get hurt quickly and are very insecure. They get angry at their partners and sometimes the partners don't even know that they are upset about something. Their displeasure is expressed in subtle acts like not answering texts and calls or withdrawing emotionally. When the sensitive man is acting up, it is up to his partner to initiate a truce.

Unlike the macho man who is confident in his appearance and charisma, the sensitive man does not naturally assume that he is attractive or appealing to women and hence will need constant reassurance that you love him and want to be with him. You cannot play hard to get or try to make a sensitive man jealous. You will just end up hurting his feelings and he will take your action as a sign that you are not interested in him.

With all these drawbacks, sensitive men are usually not the ones the girls are chasing after but getting hitched to one might be blessing in disguise. Their sensitive nature makes them great lovers as they are passionate and sensual. They are also much nicer and easier to get along with (when they are not giving you the cold shoulder that is).

@roxannekenya