The steamy sex scandals that made Obama President

When American poet and short story writer Charles Bukowski said "sex is kicking death in the ass while singing," he forgot that sex also does kick singing politicians in the ass, leading to the sudden and unexpected death of their political dreams.

But for Barack Obama, whose amazing political trajectory was launched into the stratosphere by the 'horizontal gymnastics' of leaders who couldn't zip up, sex, to paraphrase Irish playwright, Oscar Wilde, is about power.

From the time he won public office for the first time up to the point where he clinched the Democratic Party ticket to gun for the American presidency, sex scandals continuously propelled Michelle Obama's husband to win elections as seemingly formidable opponents were brought to their knees - kicked in the butt by scandalous sexual pasts.

When he was preparing for the bid for the Illinois State Senate in 2004, Obama was pitched against Blair Hull, a multibillionaire billed as a favourite by many in the Democratic primaries.

Obama trailed Hull so badly for so many months that he made a pact with Michelle, as he revealed in his book, The Audacity of Hope, that if he lost, he would retire from politics for good.

Then like a bolt of lightning, divorce papers surfaced showing Hull had been physically assaulting his wife. In the land of stars and stripes where gays are embraced but cheaters are spurned like the scam of the earth, Hull stepped down with egg smeared all over his tycoon face. And Obama, the son of a brilliant but reckless economist from rural Kogelo, cruised to victory virtually unchallenged.

Getting the senate seat was, however, still a hell of a long short, as Americans would say. In the main election, he was up against yet another wealthy opponent, Republican nominee Jack Ryan. The polls showed Ryan was leading and would have easily floored Obama by a comfortable margin.

But as fate would have it, sealed custody documents containing damaging allegations from Ryan's divorce from actress Jeri Ryan were released after a successful application by the Chicago Tribune. Divorce papers claimed the politician forced his wife to accompany him to sex clubs in New York and Paris, where he allegedly wanted her to perform sexual acts in front of strangers. And just like that, randy Ryan 'stepped aside' and Obama was home and dry.

Obama's stirring speech during John Kerry's Democratic National Convention in 2004 caused ripples worldwide, with many wondering if, just if, the 'black skinny man with a funny name' had the magic to make history by steamrolling his way into the White House. 

Four years later, the 2008 Democratic presidential nominations found Obama facing Hillary Clinton and John Edwards (who was widely expected to nibble Obama's votes and give Hillary a probable victory).

But yet again, sex came to the rescue when Edwards was forced out of the race after it emerged he had been 'ravishing' his campaign videographer, Rielle Hunter. Obama's votes remained intact. He went on to lick Hillary Clinton in the Democratic Party nominations and pummel Republican politician and war hero John McCain, to become the first black US president in 2008.

Obama began riding high on the debris of distant sex scandals much earlier actually. As a community organiser in Chicago way back in 1995, Obama's first public office materialised after a sex scandal. Chicago South Side congressman (the equivalent of an MP) Mel Reynolds, resigned and was jailed for having screwed a 16-year-old.

As a result, a local state senator (equivalent to an MCA) left her seat to run for the now vacant congress position, which he lost to Jesse Jackson Jr. But when Palmer tried to reclaim her former seat, Obama kept her out of the ballot through a court order and went on to clinch the position.

Sex scandals indirectly handed Obama the presidency, which wouldn't have been possible in a country like Kenya where 'Mpango wa Kando' is not an out of this world 'arrangement.'