Last week, there was alot of hullabaloo by Kenyans on social media about Miss Uganda’s looks.

However, nobody stopped and reminded people two important things: One, ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ and two, it was not a beauty contest. Period!

I don’t know why some people, especially Kenyans are fussing about her looks, yet the theme alone, ‘Promoting Agricultural Entrepreneurship among the Youth’ ensured that very few ‘yellow yellows’, which I am told Kenyan men really like, would contest, let alone win.

The restriction, ‘No blonds’, also set the bar for the type of applicants who would participate.

By the way, ‘blond’ is the European term for ‘yellow yellow’ because we all know what ‘blond moment’ means.

The applicants were to be aged between 18 – 24, single and childless. I guess they knew asking for virgins would block too many young women. I doubt we have any virgins around, save for toddlers!

The main sponsors were Mirinda and the Namukekera Rural Industrial Centre, which was another sure way to create a dearth of ‘yellow yellows’.

The first sign of doom was when Uganda Peoples Defense Force (UPDF) supposedly took over management of the pageant.

We were all sure it would become a ‘mchaka-mchaka’ boot camp where contestants were to be subjected to strange competitions.

For instance, being asked to run through muddy fields in the name of “getting patriotism lessons” so as to defend their country when required.

Learning farming

This created the wrong type of interest as it coincided with UPDF recruitment, and some of us were wondering if someone was using the promise of a date with the contestants to motivate cadets to survive the rigours of the training.

When the dust had settled, it was decided that the contestants would spend one week learning farming techniques at the Namukekera centre, and UPDF clarified that they would provide security. This must have been candy to lure the girls.

Exudes authority

Many women are attracted to a man in uniform as he exudes authority. And at least if he is in the army you are sure he is disciplined and fit; throw in a steady job and free housing and you’re good to go.

A fantastic candidate for marriage. The pinnacle of success for a woman is marriage and babies. A career for the modern day girl is not a priority, cash is.

The applicants were many, but only 20 were chosen for training, and perhaps to also make gumboots and digging look sexy!

At the end of it all, Leah Kalanguka won. Kalanguka in Swahili could mean ‘can never fall’ (anguka). If you ask me, she’s not that bad looking, that picture of her is just the worst one ever taken.