Animals are still smarter than humans, research proves

With increased incidents of breakdown of law and order in the country, a new research done by animal psychologists shows pregnant wild animals, especially apes, have continued to express displeasure with the state of affairs by migrating to give birth in neighbouring countries.

The experts argues that the animals fear for their lives due to lawlessness and perhaps a bad influence on their newborns.

This is to ensure they are safe and brought up in a civilised society that respects the rule of law. Some of the things that have pissed off wildlife include incidents of Homo sapiens with a holier-than-thou attitude taking on their neanderthal alter egos.

“The cases of women being stripped and MCAs fighting every now and then has greatly distressed our wildlife and the adult animals don’t want their offspring, who are at an impressionable age, to be exposed to these primitive behaviours,” explained the Government’s Chief Animal Psychologist.

“That’s why they are sending them across the borders to protect their innocence and ensure the crude and primitive local behaviours don’t rub off on them!”

From the statistics already collected animal migration experts have noted that the gorillas of Kenya are mostly sending their young ones to relatives in Uganda and Rwanda and even as far as DRC.

On the other hand, the carnivores and the herbivores such as wildebeests and elephants, have been relocating their brood to the Serengeti.

More civilised

And in what is likely to put Kenyans to shame, animal psychologists and animal behavioural experts dropped yet another bombshell.

They allege that despite years of human beings claiming they are more civilised than the wildlife, even going as far as labelling anyone behaving primitively a beast, wild animals are now waking up to the reality and beginning to question the status quo.

“Our animals don’t understand why matatu crew who play near pornographic music videos in their public service vehicles would get the hypocritical audacity to even claim a woman is indecently dressed. They also don’t understand why men who have all these years undressed women with their eyes and in their minds, now want to do it with their hands!” added the Chief Animal Psychologist.

“All these things are reprehensible and our wildlife think this is not an environment that is fit to bring up their brood... they want better!”

No one knows how long this will last, but experts believe that as long as the moral standards in the country continue to deteriorate and lawlessness engulfs the entire country then the sending of offspring by animals to neighbouring countries will continue.

Suicide attempts

This will pose a great threat to the tourism industry because Kenya is now being left with only the old animals who have little or no sex life left in them while the young ones who will soon be in a position to reproduce are leaving.

“Unless something is done urgently, the animal population in the country can only decline,” said an animal migration expert who has termed the phenomena ‘womb drain’.

Animal psychologists also add that due to the high stress levels in the animal kingdom occasioned by misbehaving humans, several suicide attempts in the various game reserves and national parks have been reported.

“This includes wildebeests, antelopes and other herbivores trying to drink water in crocodile infested rivers; vultures devouring un-inspected carcasses... contrary to urban myths that this is a normal occurrence with our wildlife, these are actually suicide attempts!” the Government’s Chief Animal Psychologist asserted.

“And we either restore law and order or provide them with psychiatric care.”