You get home tired and weary because it has been a taxing week, made worse by the impossibly hot January sun. All you need is a nightcap and a good night’s sleep. But Carol has other interesting ideas. Like all women, she has a poor sense of timing on when to bring serious topics.
On a Thursday night, of all the nights, is when she decides to discuss which school her daughter should attend.
“I want Farrah to study in a good school that offers British Curriculum,” she rouses you out of your sofa drowsing.
“What the hell, I thought she is in a good school already?” you almost ask her, but you censor yourself. When the child is not your biological child, you have to be careful what you say, it can be misconstrued to mean that you hate her.
“Do you have any school in mind?” She answers in the affirmative. And the school she has in mind will cost at least Sh1 million a year. It is sickening. It is boring. It is irresponsible.
“Can’t we find good academies that use the Kenyan system?” you ask her resignedly. Carol is just about the most adamant person anywhere in the world. Essentially, she wants a ‘yes’ from you. Because, somehow, she can afford it.
“I really want the British system...,” she insists.
You laugh inwardly. You hope she knows how much it costs. You are too tired to discuss that topic and you will insist on a Kenyan system. And this is a potential source of conflict that can drive a wedge in your marriage. You must demonstrate unconditional love to Farrah, who by any measure is a cool kid. You would want the best for her, but the best has to be within the reasonable.
You don’t even know where your son goes to school. Your baby mother has locked you out of his life. You have to beg, nay worship her, before she can grant you permission to visit. She doesn’t want anything from you and you have reliably been informed the bicycle you bought your son for Christmas was thrown away as soon as it was delivered. She doesn’t want anything to do with you. How about that for petty?
You have ever threatened her, asking her who would take care of the son if she died? Her mother, she said. And when you asked her what if you died, she said with no remorse whatsoever, “good riddance”. How about that for mean?
She is probably the worst ex in the world. Satan can learn a lot from her on how to be evil.
Now back to Carol and her stellar ambitions for little Farrah. Women always want the best for their children and often their expectations can surpass reality. Carol can indeed afford the best education for her daughter, but that means she will not contribute towards anything else in the house. And you will not undertake other family projects — such as building a house —together. All her money will go into giving Farrah the best education money can buy.
“Can we really afford it?” you ask.
“Babe, it is always about sacrifice. I have savings and of course the insurance can go a long way...”
It sounds a bit far-fetched and unsustainable. But she seems set, all you can do is agree skeptically. But you hope to convince her otherwise, soon, before she financially ruins your marriage.
