Masses going for a political rally    Photo: Courtesy

Recently, the Nairobi County Government placed an ad in the newspapers inviting city residents to turn up and discuss the county’s budget proposals for the next financial year.

I read the advert and laughed. Are these people out of their freaking minds? That very same day, Nairobi Senator Mike Sonko said he would not turn up to ‘rubberstamp’ a flawed budget.

Never mind that if the budget was indeed flawed,  that was precisely the reason Sonko needed to turn up and tear it to shreds because he has been blasting the Governor left, right and centre over it.

Of course Sonko is an astute businessman, a man who knows the innards of the financial world, budgeting and stuff. I imagine he should have arrived with a briefcase stuffed with files and proceeded to make an erudite presentation exposing the county government for what he claims it is – a den of thieves and incompetents.

 

Zombie voters

Well, he chose to stay away and you can bet he will be pontificating about the subject here and there – everywhere actually, apart from where the actual process of determining the county budget is going on. Such is life.

Besides, as a rule, MCAs don’t inspire a lot of confidence among Kenyans and the bunch in Nairobi is no exception. The thought that it is them who determine the expenditure of a Sh7 billion budget is so funny!

Let me put it differently. Kenya Wildlife Service probably has a similar budget. Do you see anyone in their right senses allowing the MCAs of this world anywhere near the KWS boardroom to discuss how that money should be spent?

As a matter of fact, if the positions of Nairobi MCA were to be advertised and filled competitively through interviews and not by zombie voters, I would be pleasantly surprised if 10 per cent of the current lot made the cut. In any case, it is a safe bet that only a handful of Nairobians, if any at all, turned up to hear their budget discussed.

 I mean, would you imagine what would transpire if I told my boss that I intended to miss work to go listen to county budget readings or something? I would bloody get fired! Here is the deal. Democracy is a sick joke because it assumes that we, the electorate, have the brains to make decisions that are in our best interests, and the time to participate. What bull crap!

The average voter has problems deciding whether to walk around exposing his or her underwear or not.

And you expect us to know the right leader based on lies printed on a shiny campaign poster? You expect a busy makanga or doctor to stop working and go to a political rally?

Look, Safaricom just made a Sh23 billion profit because it hires the best talent in the market (and because you guys spend the whole night sexting).

Now, if Safcom began electing managers today, in six months flat, there would be rats in its headquarters building, the place would be stinking of raw sewage and the company would be flat broke.