Papa English returned to the local after his three month honey moon in Botswana-the country of three million people- half of them Khoi Khoi Bushmen.

His newly minted wife, the former Sister Lucy delivered a baby girl through what and Nyambu, the counter girl, said was “Kiserian” section.

Papa English went through all the Kikuyu marriage ceremonies including ‘kurenga kiande’ which translates to ‘cutting the shoulder’ of the goat in a ceremony that made Sister Lucy his property for keeps.

‘Cutting the shoulder’ was the ceremony that gave drinkers the term “kurudisha mkono,” which involves one kalevi with a wallet resembling the bible ruining your liver bila uoga; upon which you ‘return the hand’ via a helicopter round of gratitude.

‘Kurudisha mkono’ was from the Kikuyu custom of returning the mkono of the mbuzi during ‘cutting the shoulder’ to the family of the chick- who will soon be nagging you to the bar.

Papa English also drank muratina using a ruhia (horn); as muratina for ceremonies dispenses with bar glasses and cups. The horn for drinking ‘rats’ as Owish calls the Okuyu traditional brew, was sourced from the most mature bull.

For that reason only mature married men with in-house brats, or grandmothers were allowed to drink and just the reason there was no drinking problem in Central Kenya before crumbling social mores upset the applecart.

The horn also has no makalio. It has to be held in the same way a couple were to hold on to their marriage.

Meat of the mbuzi for ‘cutting the shoulder’ was also was full of symbolism: the kidneys were eaten first by the couple. Reason was when the two were dating they held each other’s waist and kidneys are just around there.

The nagger-to-be was fed nyama ya shingo to mean she was number two in the pecking order.

Next came mara (intestines) which are convoluted just like love, life and marriage are complicated and full of vicissitudes.

Sister Lucy gave birth to a baby girl.

Kikuyu have nine clans and four screams were reserved for a girl and five for the boy to make them ‘kenda muihuru’ (the perfect nine).

Nyambu dully issued four drunken ngemis (screams) that made the local sound like a siren plant.