Of girlfriends who know how but won’t cook for boyfriends until he deserves it

It appears that I am a lousy girlfriend because I don’t like to cook for my boyfriends. I have been in three serious relationships and I have never cooked for any of them. I came pretty close to cooking for one of them though.

However, by that time we were going steady and I was pretty sure that the relationship wasn’t going to fizzle out and that he was in it for the long haul. So I guess my nurturing instinct doesn’t kick in until I am sure that I am not wasting my time with the guy.

I was surprised to learn that some of my friends start cooking for their boyfriends from the get-go. What’s worse, there are men out there who expect their girlfriends to start playing domestic wife goddesses as soon as they start going out. I met one of these men recently and I left him thoroughly disillusioned.

Apparently, his ex was quite the quintessential girlfriend. Even though they did not live together, she made sure that he was eating healthy, home cooked meals every single day.

She would come over on Sundays and make meals for the whole week and freeze them so all he had to do was re-heat. And she was quite a super chef from what I have heard.

Anyway, for reasons he chose not to disclose, the relationship went south and they parted ways. Then he met me. I am sure he envisioned another stint of well-crafted meals and perfectly ironed shirts.

After two unmemorable dates, he had a ‘wonderful’ idea for our third date. He suggested that I come over and cook and we could hang out at his house and watch movies. I was down for the cosy indoor date except the part where I had to slave away in the kitchen.

So I made him a counter offer. I told him I would come over and he would cook for me and we would stay in and watch movies. He was not amused. “What’s the problem? You can’t cook?” he probed. “I can. I just don’t want to,” I replied.

We ended up having take-out. The next morning, despite me being the guest in his house, he expected me to go fix him breakfast and started sulking when I said I wouldn’t. It was then that I knew that it wasn’t going to work out.

I had known this guy for only a month, but he expected me to wait on him hand and foot because I am a woman and he is a man and in his mind, women should be motherly and nurturing to their men regardless of how long they’ve known these men and whether or not they deserve it. You see, I am utterly against girlfriends performing wifely duties when they haven’t walked down the aisle. I am not saying that I will only cook for a man after he marries me. No, all I am saying is that cooking for a man is a privilege, not a right. It irks me when men act like it is a right.

Ditto for doing his chores. Actually, never do a man’s laundry unless he is your husband. These women who go over to their boyfriend’s place to cook and clean every weekend, what has that gotten you? When he comes to expect this kind of favours from you, he has no impetus to marry you.

After all he is getting the wifely duties he needs anyway. Just because you can boil and fry a few things and you like doing it doesn’t mean he should expect you to do it for him every time.