Bad boy: The slavery that is marriage

Other than irregular sex, and kids, what else do men get out of a marriage?

You ask, because, in the last two weeks, Father’s Day and your birthday have passed and Carol didn’t remember to wish you well on both days, much less cut a cake or dispense a gift.

On Valentine’s Day earlier in the year, she was so sour that you had forgotten about the day, she nearly divorced you. You had to dream up a pricey dinner, accompanied by lots of wine and you bought her an expensive dress, shoes and a handbag.

On Women’s Day, you got her a gift, to which she said a curt, “Thank You.”

Then on Mother’s Day, she was at it again. She shamelessly asked in advance, “what will you get me?” and you bought a very expensive oven she has hankered after many a time. She was tremendously grateful.

Not that you care about days, such as Father’s Day or your birthday, but you surely will not mind even a book or a wallet, to remind you that you mean something to someone. You asked your male friends, how frequently they receive a gift from their wives, and nine out of ten, have never received anything, besides a belated text. Only one said that he has ever received some cheap perfume.

Considering most of the wives are working class women, who can afford something thoughtful (read expensive). Women are insensitively selfish.

In a marriage, everything is about them. It is understandable to a degree. The house is theirs, they decide everything from the theme colours, the furniture, to what we eat and when while the as the man of the house, you stand by the wayside and watch as she picks some grotesque colour like olive green for cushions and you decide to live in a bar than live in that ghoulish sitting room. Then she takes all the wardrobes, leaving you with a small cubicle for your checked shirts and khakis and that odd suit.

Then as a man, you take all the bills. You are not allowed to ask her where she takes all her money, as she will embarrass you to silence. A few months ago, you attended a wedding where when it came to advice, you heard an aunt advise the man that his money was ‘their’ money and the wife’s money is supposed to be ‘hers and hers alone.’

Granted, there are some private stuff a woman buys, and some things like clothes for children that a man overlooks, but still, there is a lot of money women can never account for. And they get so defensive when you ask about it.

Yet, they can’t buy a man even a simple gift. They are dangerously forgetful, or good at feigning ignorance. For a man, you just lead your life giving, providing, protecting and you get nothing in return. Not even regular sex.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is slavery.

@nyanchwani

snyanchwani@gmail.com