Misled campus goons and wannabes today, they deserve pity

The time is ¼ past one; walking towards the student centre, a conglomerate of students are seated on the benches at the frustration square. Some murmurs followed by uncultured laughter emanates. Just then it dawns on me that this is not the place I want to be, especially at this time.

Now, let’s digress a bit and learn some English. In the real world, a GOON is some aggressive hoodlum with no defined purpose but possess all the intention to break the law in whatever small or big way to please his ego and emotions. They are hecklers in the public discourse with no particular modest interest but will drive it so unassertively. In campus, the definition is verily simple; a goon is someone paid to either make noise or keep quite depending on the circumstances.

Back to where we were, the gathering at the frustration square is a group of self-proclaimed goons. They have sanitised their definition as campus “opinion leaders”. It is them who know what is right and what is wrong. They purport to represent the student voices and in some way, are a virtual opposition quarter that is there to keep the University Governance in check. But this is too far from the “truth on the ground”.

Just then I decide to change my direction for fear of being forced to join them and folk out cash to fund their idleness. But I have all the luck today, it all happens as I feared. Through embarrassing references shouted in the air, I’m compelled to heed to their call. They need a crate of soda and so far it is the only way you can get peace. They feel that by virtue of being in power, you have drawn so much from the union coffers.  The only way to have them silent is by you eating with them. It is also their belief that because of their effort you won the election into student council. They may be right or wrong, but as the dreaded slogan goes, a comrade is always right. These are campus goon wannabes.

Our wannabes are propellants of anarchy with all the desire to make the institution ungovernable. They are driven by the illusion that they can change the university. Sadly, neither do they know what they believe in nor what they’re seasonally fighting for. Since they are driven by mob psychology, they are weak in expressing themselves on professional forums. Where people have to reason with brains they are shy, where people have to reason with chaos, they shine.

Additionally, our wannabes here are extortionists, devouring every student politician in the name of power brokers and crowd influencers. They talk like they can get you into power and maintain you there, while they themselves have either tried and failed or are purely hopeless on their own course. We can make it worse when we put “them” and “leadership” in the same sentence. Some of them are pigeonholed by irreparable drunkardness; only speak when tanked-up or act on the intoxication of other drugs.

The group to pity is those who, even after finishing their studies, still engage in and comment on student politics from “the outside”. As unemployed as they are, they heckle from their jobless corner on online student forums, with the little data bundles they can afford. They use all their day to passionately throw tantrums to the present governance structures instead of using that time to update their CVs and seek jobs.

If I was to justify student goonship, then I would very much glorify the likes of the late Karl Marx (Christopher Owiro) of SONU and his entire “Student Military Wing” who actually knew what they fought for; and did it both ruthlessly and with cerebral articulation, when need be. At least some democracy was restored. Not the current crop of WANNABES who only ruminate on student politics from January to January. By the time you exit campus and find that your chance of getting a job is 1 out of 50,000, then reality will dawn that you would have used that time the proper way.