On the run: Why thugs seek cover in polls

Dozens of suspected murderers, con men, thieves and charlatans are running for elective posts in the forthcoming polls under the collective slogan “our people are under siege.” Although they are running under different parties, for various posts, it is understood they have all been consulting one media firm whose mantra is “no press, is bad press.”

The strategy, strange as it may sound, is something called “brand recognition” in marketing. “They constitute ‘public figures’ in the broadest sense of the term,” an insider at the outfit told this writer. “That’s good enough for us, as our survey proved nearly nine out of 10 Kenyans could not outrightly remember what the individuals were famous for.”

Consequently, she elaborated, “We see “a pretty good window to supplant new messaging to invent new personality profiles. With focused social media campaigns, we expect fabulous performance at the polls.”

This seems like a steep climb-down from the strictures of ethics and governance laws that the 2010 Constitution envisaged. Sadly, one legal expert said, the precedent set in 2013, when the current Jubilee leadership was allowed to run, while still faced with serious crimes of murder and crimes against humanity at the International Criminal Court, means other suspects cannot be prevented from contesting the elections, while still awaiting trial.

The lingering question: those suspects are finding not just comfort, but protection from the self-same publics that they pillaged.

“It’s a moral conundrum,” said the lawyer, “Perhaps that’s why it’s called the people’s court, and people have interesting attitudes towards those who govern them, particularly the publicly known thieves.”