Nikhil Nichu, son to a prominent Kenyan businessman, says arranged marriages are the best, especially among Asians.
“The arrangement is usually between the two families. We Indians live in families, and so before you marry, we look at the other family and see if we are in the same standards socially, financially, culturally and religiously. That will help with compatibility. With such, there are higher chances that the marriage will survive,”
He however says that should a family fail to secure a suitable bride or groom for their son or daughter locally, then it’s not a bad idea to go fishing for one abroad.
“I told you Indians are close, and live in communities. Even if the girl is from India, and I am in Mombasa, my parents will get me one who suits me most. And when she comes, there are no cultural shocks, it’s life as usual,” adds Nichu.
He says the process of getting a spouse includes the family getting referrals from their close associates or their social circle. “It is in this social circles that someone can know a girl who is in India, and is at our level, the people who refer such a woman to us also have their reputation at stake, so they won’t refer you to a bad woman,” says Nichu. Thereafter, the elderly members of the family will meet, and if they feel comfortable around each other, then the boy can then meet the girl - followed by a brief period of courtship before engagement which should end in marriage.
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Nichu however says dowry was traditionally supposed to be the girl’s share of her father property, but the whole practice has been commercialized, robbing it of meaning and purpose.
Psychologist Faith Nafula Atsango (pictured) says in the Indian culture, marriage is a big deal.
“Even young girls learn the word shaadi, meaning marriage, even before they learn other things. In the Indian culture, marriage is a fulfillment of life. Look at Hindu gods, like Radha and Krishna, they are all in happy relationships. That’s why marriage is very important to them, and getting a perfect wife means looking for her everywhere, even if you have to leave Nairobi and go back to India,” says Nafula.
