Meta Meta Mixed Day and Boarding School is the most intriguing school I have worked in. My teaching career has seen me serve in virtually all parts of Kenya.  I was given the power to read and do all that appertains to an education  degree  by  His Excellency  the then president  in person, and  posted  to the then forgotten parts  of Kenya.  The journey took more than a week after having ridden on a bus, a lorry and eventually a beast of burden.

 I have worked in many other challenging stations including one where I wrestled with a night runner, who had made a hobby of running round my quarters.

The TSC was then operating on analogue mode and it took more than a year to have a simple issue like house allowance sorted out. Cases of disappearing files and computer break downs on dates very close to month ends were galore.

My recent posting to Meta Meta was, however, literally a rude awakening. Having taught in far-flung areas where a teachers’ word is law, I was unprepared for a school in the suburbs of a major city. My first week on duty saw my blood pressure shoot and almost made me apply for early retirement. I had ordered a boy to do a lap in the football pitch for failing to run when the bell had been rung. The youngster looked at me and hissed;

“Wewe mode wacha utiaji (Teacher, you’re such a nag).”

Thinking that my eyes and ears were playing tricks on me, I asked him to repeat what he had just said.  He retorted:

“Tuliza buda, kama Okonkwo na Bensouda wameshindwa, wewe ni nani (be easy, I have given Teacher Okwonkwo and Bensouda a hard time, who are you)?” and haughtily walked away. 

Both the staff and the parents of Meta Meta have conspired to make my life a nightmare.  The principal earned the Okonkwo nickname from students due to his love of Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart. 

The deputy got her’s due to her no nonsense approach towards indiscipline cases.  Okonkwo , like some principals you and I know, does not run the school and has relegated that duty to Bensouda and members of his kitchen cabinet. He does not even know all his members of staff by name, yet he can tell the school’s bank balance while deep in sleep.

On my first day at Meta Meta, Vasco Da Gama, the History teacher, assumed the role of my official guide and shepherded me to the school canteen.  He got the nickname from students courtesy of his mastery of the subject. As we took tea and chapos, which I eventually paid for, he gave me an indication of what to expect.

“Mwalimu don’t rush, take your time around here and by all means, avoid members of the kitchen cabinet, especially madam Schola,” he advised.

 Madam Schola manages the Meta Meta rumour mill. If she doesn’t know something about Meta Meta, then it hasn’t happened. She is famed to have very deep connections both at the TSC and the County director’s office. Her file at the TSC is said to be as clean as pamba.

Within the time it takes to gulp down a not particularly hot cup of tea and a chapo, I had enough dossiers on the Meta Meta staff to warrant a conviction at The Hague.

They ranged from Madam Magarita the CU patron and Okonwo’s chief informer to Jezebel in the kitchen who dishes out such small portions of food, one may think she is doling out some poison. I hope to enjoy my stay at my new school.