With the authority like the headmaster of old, this is how Obama surmonned African leaders

Cousin Barry is at it again. A week ago, President Obama summoned African presidents to the White House. The official story is that Obama wants to follow up on his visit to Africa last year, with a renewal and reinforcement of economic and diplomatic ties with Africa.

Apparently, Obama and America are spooked that China is gobbling up all of our resources – trade between China and Africa is now at $200 billion, with the Americans at half that – and the US wants to wet its beak, get a foot in sideways.

Most Kenyans will tell you this is nonsense. A big man like Obama, the most powerful man in the universe, doesn’t summon 50 elders all the way from Africa to go drink some beer over a few dollars here and a few dollars there.

summon anyone

America, after all, spends more in one month in Iraq and Afghanistan than the entire China-Africa trade value. No, this was not a discussion.

Obama did not ask or request the African leaders to go to Washington – he ordered them to. As the boss of the entire earth, he can summon anyone and the person has to answer. In fact, Obama is so powerful that there is only one real comparison on earth: a primary school headmaster back when headmasters were headmasters.

The old-school headmaster was not just a teacher, and he was far more than just a school administrator. He was literally a deity in the village.

Back then, development had not yet arrived in the villages, so the government invariably sent development down through the Chief, and from him to the local headmasters.

Headmasters would summon parents and give them a proper dressing-down not just about the parents’ kids, but also about such issues as the health of cows and chickens in their homesteads, the times when they went to bed, and how they cooked and fed children in their houses.

But if the headmaster was an overlord to the parents, he was a complete terror to the poor teachers that reported to him.

negative report

In those days – and perhaps even now – a headmaster could make or break a teacher’s career.

One negative report about a teacher’s work would result in the teacher being disciplined and, even worse, being suspended from teaching, salary deducted or even withheld.

The story goes that some randy old headmasters demanded not just a share of the teacher’s salary, but conjugal privileges as well if the teacher was female – in those days, headmasters were invariably male, fat, balding, and ugly.

Any teacher who so much as came late to school would usually be informed by the Headmaster’s secretary that the boss wanted a word. The secretary would leave it open-ended, never telling the teacher at what time she was expected to show up at the boss’ office.

election thieves

At the most inopportune moment – such as just before leaving school to go home in the evening – the poor teacher would be summoned to see the headmaster.

Village wags claim that some headmasters would even whip their hapless teachers, on top of demanding all manner of favours, most usually only reserved for a husband!

Obama’s summoning of Africa’s motley collection of election thieves, murderers, corrupt tinpots and similar so-called leaders must thus be seen in this light. African citizens will be hoping that, after the photo-ops and the smiles for the cameras, Obama cracked the whip and let our misrulers know that America doesn’t like how they run Africa, and that America is minded to step in and set things right.

When the most powerful man in the world says that, you sit up, listen, and amend your ways!