Gland-to-gland combat turns awry as illicit lovers get clamped into each other

Drama unfolded outside Kericho District Hospital a week ago, after word went round that two illicit lovers had got stuck into each other during an amorous congress, and had been rushed to the hospital for a “separation of powers” of sorts.

The shocking news attracted a huge crowd of local residents who jammed the hospital to witness the off-the-wall incident. So riotous was the crowd that the management of the hospital had to call cops from Kericho Police Station who lobbed teargas canisters to disperse the curious onlookers.

When Crazy Monday crew visited the hospital later on to file this report, the gate was locked and the hospital administration declined to speak to the press over the matter, terming it as “sensitive”.

Morning glory

According to multiple sources, the unfortunate man who found his crucial toolbox clamped is an employee of an international road construction company working on a major highway.

In the morning of the fateful day, the two lovebirds who live in Kericho town, allegedly got “locked” as they attempted to have quick early morning act of the rod commonly referred to as ‘morning glory’.

“At the steamy love heights, the couple realized they had been clamped together and began groaning and writhing in pain, as their screams attracted neighbors who came to help,” said a source at the estate.

He added that the driver of a Probox rushed to the scene and ferried the two to the hospital. However, the hospital administration sent them away, claiming they didn’t have capacity to separate the two. The Good Samaritans who had rushed them to the hospital were forced to rush them to an undisclosed location.

One of the locals claimed the husband of the two-timing woman had been tipped off about his wife’s philandering and had consulted a witchdoctor who cast a spell on her.

Immediately word reached him that his wife had been caught locked in gland-to-gland combat with another man, the husband declared he was only going to “unlock” them after the honeycomb-thieving man parts with Sh100, 000.

“All the cheaters in Kericho County have been put on notice that they can’t keep raiding others’ jars for cookies and think they can get away with it,” warned one angry resident.

Jilted in love

Elsewhere in the same county, a man in his mid-30s allegedly committed suicide inside his lover’s house in Chesinende market in Kipkelion East constituency.

According to a local teacher who resides at the trading center, the deceased had been jilted in love, and couldn’t stomach the heartache. His ex-lover, a single mother, had not only broken his heart but also sent him packing. She kicked him out and warned him against ever setting foot at her house where he regularly visited.

She left for the market where she runs a small business.

The jilted lover forcefully gained entry into her house only for her to return and find him hanging from a rope in the house.