Q. My fiancÈ and I have dated for five years and we plan to get married this December. However, I wanted a church wedding but he is against the idea arguing that the money we would spend can help us start a family. He proposes a customary marriage although my sisters and friends were all married in church. Does the law recognise customary marriages?
Nelly, Nairobi.
Dear Nelly,
The law recognises traditions and customs relating to marriage. Each of the 42 communities has customs relating to the unions. The new Constitution also empowers Parliament to enact legislation that recognises marriages concluded under any tradition as long as they are consistent with the supreme law.
Customs relating to marriage vary among communities, but the payment of bride price is a common practice. Therefore, most communities allow men to take the woman home on completion of important ceremonies like ngurario among the Kikuyu, mbui sya ntheu (Kamba) and nyombo dhok (Luo) for a marriage to exist.
However, under customary marriage, a man can marry as many wives as long as he can maintain them. Occasionally, the man can gain his first wife’s consent before marrying other women.
All stages under the customary law must be completed for the courts to accept that the relationship qualifies to be a customary marriage.
Therefore, should the marriage hit the rocks and the woman seeks legal redress over maintenance or division of matrimonial property, she may be required to first prove that she is a wife under the customary law.
