By Mark Mutahi
There is something worse than being found doing wrong by your boss and the boss acting like nothing happened! It’s not only annoying but it is a waste of negative thinking because you were already prepared for the worst.
Following the landlord’s daughter unexpected return, she did not fulfil her promise of dealing with me after finding Gloria and Jicho Pevu acting out their wild fantasies during business hours. This only resulted in unnecessary tension.
But since in this sector it’s not the fittest who survive but the most sycophantic, I immediately put my sucking up skills and experience collected over the years to work. This included complimenting my boss Anastaciah on her hairstyle even when it was clear the weave she was wearing was better suited as a nest for birds to lay their eggs in!
READ MORE
Why Angata Barikoi has been slapt with night curfew
Kabarak University sets pace in climate action
CoB call on counties to submit their budgets on time
Blow to Waititu and his wife as High Court forfeits Sh131.2m assets to State
Still, the landlord’s daughter did not bother to ease the tension. I could not take it anymore and had to share my predicament with Gloria. After starting off on the wrong note, we had worked out a harmonious working relationship. I guess there is nothing that brings people together better than a common enemy!
Bad joke
And since the best way for two people to gossip about someone without the subject knowing is SMS, I quickly typed a message reading: "Seems some people have taken a vow of silence. Maybe it’s the new way of losing weight!" and sent it.
Seconds later, I was shocked when the delivery confirmation indicated; "Message successfully sent to ‘Boeing 747’" the identity I had given to the landlord’s daughter in my address book owing to her size! Instead of sending the message to Gloria I had sent it to Anastaciah!
I did not wait for a bottle to be banged against my head. I immediately rushed to the gents to compose myself. I thought about apologising and pleading that I was on heavy medication that was making me hallucinatory, but on second thoughts I realised I would really have to be on hard drugs to expect her to believe me. When I later emerged and the landlord’s daughter called me aside, I knew it was over for me. This was it, she was going to ask me to leave the premises immediately. She was just saving me the embarrassment of being sacked in front of everyone.
"I really liked your ideas," she said, completely catching me off guard. "Especially the Karaoke one."
Before I could break into a smile she added, "And good thing is, we have the talent right here... you are going to start us off."
"What?!" I protested realising I now had bigger problems in my hands than just calling her a bulky wide-bodied plane.
"Are you going to start preparing or do you want us to talk about that SMS?" Anastaciah asked fiddling with her phone. I nodded and left. The last time I tried singing was back in the village church choir where my croaking voice lead to a drastic decrease in church attendance.
