They share a conjugal bed and love it

By Nanjinia Wamuswa

No woman in her right senses would entertain, let alone welcome, the idea of her husband marrying another wife. And if he went ahead and married one, it would be difficult for the co-wives to get along amicably.

But the case of Joyce Nanzala and Rukia Were is totally different. The two have surmounted the barrier of hatred and envy.

Like their husband Alia Akeko, leader of Meketho Band, Nanzala and Were are also musicians and members of the same band.

The amity the co-wives enjoy is the subject of discussion and amazement in the village and beyond. Though their relationship might look weird to many people, especially women, to them everything is perfectly normal. According to Nanzala, their compatibility has courted much envy.

"We are being envied because besides sharing and loving our husband to death, we share everything like sisters. We also love each and every one of our children," says Nanzala. She adds, "Being co-wives many people expect us to quarrel all the time, something we don’t do. Some have come up with theories that our unity is unnatural and that our husband must be using some magical powers to keep us together."

Rukia dismisses the theories. She says people are free to think and come up with theories as they wish, genuine or false. To her, it wouldn’t matter if the glue that holds them together were magical powers. "What matters to me or us, is that we love each other and everyone has realised it. They are also free to use the very powers they have in mind so long as they will give them happiness," says Rukia.

Although each has her own house, when it comes to cooking, each woman takes her turn for the whole family. For example ,if one handles lunch, the other would take care of supper. If one is out, the entire family depends on the one around.

Akeko says that he’s taken charge of his family. He says, "I always tell my wives we have short lives in this world. They need to love and relate to each other well. If anything, they are best placed to assist each other at times of crises before neighbours join them."

Family of musicians

Rukia has been a musician for 10 years. When the band started, Nanzala was newly married and joined at inception. Rukia joined five years later, in 1999.

They sing and act a form of dramatised music that has taken Western Province by storm. Joyce sings bass and Rukia is the band’s main soloist. Initially, people listening to the music did not know who the female singers were and were surprised to learn that they were co-wives married to the band leader.

The two have produced many songs under different names. Their audience knows them by stage names. Rukia is popularly known as ‘Aminata’. Aminata was a woman who cheated on his man until she was caught red handed. After performing as Aminata in one of the songs, the name stuck and has refused to go.

Nanzala is popularly known as ‘Jane the Waiter’, after she performed as a waiter in a pub in another song.

The two are not bothered about what the audience calls them. They believe by coining those names, they should be identified with the message they try to put across.

history of music

Nanzala was born 1978 and studied at Shanderema Primary. She dropped out after class eight for lack of fees. She was married to Akeko 1994 and has three children.

She always loved music and was an active member of the local church choir. She got married, found music in her new home and joined the band immediately. "At first l thought my husband would bar me from joining the band that then comprised only of men. Since he accepted me, l have concentrated to music and now it’s my career," says Nanzala.

Rukia joined the band immediately she was married 1999. She says, "When l found my fellow women (Nanzala and late Asiya) in the band l did not want to be left behind. They welcomed me."

Born in 1980 and a mother of two, Rukia was born into a family without a music background and never imagined that she would one day become a musician. However, when she joined a musical family she heeded the adage that you do what Romans do when you go to Rome.

She attended Ebusambe Primary School and Bulimbo Girls Secondary before abandoning studies at Form Three. She cited lack of school fees.

The two see themselves as being critical to the continuity of their husband’s band. Having seen many band members walk out on their leaders when their services are needed most, they want to put the lie to the notion that bands are inherently unstable.

Balancing music and family

Their husband concurs that were the other members to desert leaving him and his two wives, the band would still be strong enough to continue.

How do they feel about being in the same music band with their husband? According to the two, there is nothing unusual about it. It’s just a job and they are out to earn a living like anybody else. They confide that whatever the band makes is shared equally among the members.

Their schedule is very tight. Rated as the kings of dramatised music in Western Province and beyond presently, they receive invitations to stage live performances from as far as Uganda and Tanzania.

"We’re all equal in the band with crucial roles to play. So when invited we must all go, leaving even our young children behind.

If not, we might disappoint our audiences and ruin the market we’ve worked so hard to establish," says Rukia.

They have managed to juggle music and parenthood and have not regrets. Despite a tight schedule, Akeko and his wives always manage to spare enough time to be with their children.

Behind every successful man there is a woman, they say, and for Akeko you could multiply that by three. He says his three wives, counting the late Asiya, have contributed immensely to the band’s success.

They offer ideas that have helped the band get to where it is today. They work together even at odd hours.

Dealing with fame

The talkative and welcoming women find it rather challenging handling popularity. When visiting social places like markets, they attract many people who sometimes run after them.

"Sometime we find it hard to handle these people," says Nanzala. She adds that some do not believe they are normal human beings.

"But we’re just human beings and musicians," says Rukia crooning a song.

Their compatibility has made them role models in their home area and their advice is often sought. Couples throng their home in search of relationship advice.

They recall being stopped many times on the way and asked the recipe for a healthy relationship like theirs. Many women who go to them for advice claim to have been sent by their husbands.

They advise fellow women on how to keep marriages healthy and counsel respect, faithfulness, apologizing when in the wrong, using polite language, planning together and openness.

Nanzala and Rukia have been dispensing this service freely for over six years now. "We’ve discovered that we’re natural counsellors," Rukia says. "Our services have benefited many people."

So successful have they been that they are planning to set up a relationship consultancy office at Harambee market on the Mumias-Bungoma road. They will offer the services for a small fee because they expect many of their clients to be people of limited means.

Much of their music focuses on social virtues. And they believe they must lead by example.