Claim To Fame
In 1993, there was a young whipper-snapper (23, then, like Jordan’s T-shirt). He was always hanging around the deejay’s box at JK’s in Westie, and inspite of the bouncers’ and management’s best efforts, simply wouldn’t go away. Reluctantly, the resident DJ in JK’s allowed him to spin occasionally — and the inexorable rise to DJ fame was the name of the game.
Fast-forward 15 years, and DJ Pinye (what sort of penny-pinching jina is dat?) is now on top of his game. Last week, Carni even threw him a bash, with Pili na his ma-rafiki, to celebrate his 15 years of spinning, (although DJ Pinye stingily managed to make the event about his birthday so that his paroz could kuja). His father finally stopp’d being ashamed about Pinye’s late nite career. Wazz wrong with this Old Skool paroz who wancha to be a doctor, a lawyer, a priest, a teacher (okay, the latter are KNUT (Kenyan Nuts) who even police constables feel free whacking on)? Look at my ole man for example — (Venus bless him, now he’s a star gazing balefully down upon me). The dude disowned me when I told him I was quitting meteorology in coll’e to pursue astronomy n astrology …
Mid-Term Future
DJ Pinye is going to remain on top of his game, but only for five more years, until he’s 43. After that, it’s all downhill! I mean, who wantsa listen to a gray deejay in his mid-40s? Like, get a proper job, mate. By the time he is 50, Pinye will be kaput... and the only gigs he’ll be doing will be rich kids’ parties where he has to double as the clown n deejay ( ‘Yell-ooo shud-ren! Happy Birth-day, the reeee-miiiixxx’) …
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Long-Term Future
In twente-thate, when DJ Pinye is 60 and an out-of-work wino whose hard on the bottle, he will suddenly make a mighty comeback. Kenyans having realised that Vision 2030 has been moved to ‘Mission twente fif-te,’ there will be a big nostalgia for ‘Lost in the ‘1990s’. And guess who will be spinning the turn-tables on songs like ‘Macarena!’ and Tupac’s ‘How Many G’s fell victim to tha streets?’
Yup. None other than Pinye himself .. and who cares if he’s in bi-focals? When the world ends after the Iranians or Pyongyang nukes us, we all know the three things dat will survive – lil roaches, Cher … and DJ Pinye.
