I hope that all the love-struck women out there have resolved to stop cyber-stalking their exes and crushes in 2017. I know it sounds far-fetched, but it is possible to stop keeping tabs on your ex and learn a lot more about your new love interest through talking to him rather than inspecting his Instagram account.
It may seem like a harmless thing, but it can actually be very self-destructive, and a waste of time at best. You’re bored and curious and a quick skim through his Facebook account will only take a few seconds, right? So you click on his profile.
He has posted a photo of himself out clubbing with his friends. You click on it. There are a few women in the photo with him. You start combing through the comments section to figure out who these women are. Then you click on their profiles. Once you’re done inspecting all the comments on his photos and figuring out who the women commenting are, it is dark outside and you don’t know what day it is.
And you know what the worst part is? You are never going to be satisfied with what you find. Regardless of whether it is a crush or an ex, you are bound to find photos or status updates that could be misinterpreted — or correctly interpreted — to make you feel jealous and insecure. Nobody has ever emerged from a cyber-stalking session thinking, “Wow, now I feel really good about myself!” What do you get out of looking through your ex’s Instagram photos, seemingly happier without you? It will rob you of your time and energy, not to mention take a toll on your self esteem.
Stop scanning through his social media pages hoping to see a sign that he misses you. He doesn’t. You know you are not going to find a status update which reads; “(put you name here), I miss you terribly. Let’s talk things over. Call me.” If anything, you are going to find his potential love interests leaving lovey-dovey comments all over his pictures or worse, discover he is already in a relationship with someone else.
Bombarding yourself with his updates and vacation photos will prevent you from moving on with your life. It also makes you look like a crazy person. Why would you want to subject yourself to a constant reel of how much happier he is without you? Do you enjoy the sting? I’m guessing you don’t, so cut it out, will you? As for your crush, aren’t you tired of pretending you don’t know what’s going on with him every time you run into each other when in fact, you could tell him his own life story all thanks to Snapchat?
It is fine to follow him like a normal person, but can you stop checking his activities. Stop checking the photos he is liking and then inspecting the accounts of the women whose photos he has liked. It is okay to be friends with an ex on social media, but if looking at their posts always leaves you feeling ten times worse than you were, delete or unfollow him.
@roxannekenya
