"Overheard" page in the Pulse is not all gaffes, goofs and goofs of local celebs. Some Fridays, "Overheard" gives y'all subtle lessons. But you have to read between the lines to get "it".
Ten years ago, almost to the day – that is, on Friday 13th October 2006 - "Overheard" dished y'all three lessons ...
Lesson one: if you are a beauty queen, there are sh*t you do not take. Read the contract, baby: you are in a whole 'nother lane. Which is exactly why you do not roll with sh*tty characters, who can take a crap on your crown.
"In the Pulse issue of September 22 2006, we carried a 'Caught Out' of former Miss Kenya Cecilia Mwangi displaying a 50K ruby ring on her finger and some skimbi smiling proudly beside her," the article read.
"Turns out the skimbi is called Jemo and he swung her the ring. It also allegedly turns out that the ring belongs to Naomi Muthama, Jemo's former chiquitta! Shortly after they broke up, with Jemo claiming to be smitten by Cecilia, the ruby ring went missing from Naomi's house."Who the hell does that? (a) a cheapie, (b) a toady, (c) a social climber, or (d) all the above.
Lesson two: If you are Kenya's self-proclaimed Mansa Musa, avoid any stunt that will read or be misread as, "Broke ass nigga". You don't want any ambiguity, which may piss on your street cred.
Heck, once you've raised the bar, you only lower it when you're returning it to your gold-coated soap dish ... after taking a bubble bath that's worth a billion bucks.
"Kenya's self-proclaimed King of Bling CMB Prezzo drove all the way to Dar es Salaam to watch hip-hop mogul Jay Z," the article read. "Prezzo and his entourage did not fly as most Kenyan celebs did."
"The rapper preferred to travel by road and the journey took him a week. Critics failed to understand why he could not simply have charted a flight for himself and crew."
Mansa Musa was the most loaded dude who ever lived. On his epoch-making hajj to Mecca in the 12th century, his entourage gave out gold bars to all and sundry in Egypt. Which completely devalued the worth of bling.
Perhaps Prezzo was taking the Mansa Musa challenge.
Lesson three: if you are a gospel artiste, you should not be seen dead in faith-compromising situations, doing sh*t that makes Old Nick to sigh, "Goodness! You need you some Jesus".
"Popular gospel artiste Davidson Ngubuini, aka DNA, is definitely preaching water and drinking beer," the article read. "The Kora Award winner whose album, 'My Testimony' is a gem, seems to have abandoned his mission to spread the good word to the world and opted for fooling around instead."
"Recently the musician was caught red-handed drinking Tusker, spanking chicks' bottoms and canoodling with an unidentified girl."
Pity.
But then again, like that Donnie McClurckin song proclaims: "Saints are just sinners who fall down and get up".
So? Nope. Don't write this brother off.
