I have indicated before that I was named Bolingo, meaning love, by my mother who was a fan of a Lingala music by the Los Nickelos band that had released a song titled, Bolingo ya Telephone. The chorus went something like: Bolingo ya telephone nasi nalembi nango nayebisiyo tele (love over the telephone, I am already tired of it, I am telling you).
He goes on to seek advice, as the woman he had married was kind over the phone, but evil in person. She had an evil heart.
He even goes as far as trying to look for a witch doctor to give him love potion as he was tired of ‘telephone marriage.’ I listened to this song last week, and though it was recorded in the early 1970s, it still speaks for the current generation.
Aren’t relationships today cemented over the phone? The only difference is that unlike back in the day, nowadays we use smartphones and our lives are ruled by WhatsApp and text messages.
Even dating sites like Tagged and Twoo are all phone-based. People post their best pictures, some of which are Photoshopped, in an effort to look perfect. As for affectionate stuff like kisses and holding hands, well, the phone emojis come in handy.
In our days, the first peck or kiss from your woman was so memorable, you would even not wash your face to avoid ‘washing off’ that smooch from Njambi of Block D, after waiting for 10 months!
You proudly bragged about your conquest to your pals who felt kimnatho if Njambi was the hottest thing in the hood. But today, and with the smartphone, you meet for a date and it’s as if you have known each other forever. There’s nothing like background checks for today’s youth.
I remember one wise mzee, the late Mr Kirori, once revealed that wooing a woman in their day meant seeing her daily. You became friends and she was introduced to your family and relatives. But Mr Kirori thought that our generation went for shortcuts, resulting in many relationship blunders.
Today’s ‘mahewa generation’ prefers spending time with friends instead of future partners. During our time, we were committed to our relationships, and even escorted our girlfriends when they went to the shops after dropping everything! After schools opened, it was the season for writing long love letters every week before perfuming them. When you move into your small house, the woman would be the first to come and do the washing and help in arranging the place. And when you got your his first jalopy, you had to make sure your woman was the first to ride in it.
Being seen with your girlfriend most of the time meant you couldn’t cheat, since everybody already knew you were an item. But with mobile phones, men can now play two women or more at the same time. Some even copy and paste the same lyrics. Bolingo ya telephone is the reason young men are with friends in bars thinking that sending texts hourly makes them responsible husbands.
Most marriages these days are bow-legged because of ‘telephone love’ which has killed interaction. Couples should communicate by discussing things face to face. Let’s go back to the old days when partners spent quality time together.
ojiamboainea@yahoo.com
@AineaOjiambo
