How to apologize to a woman

There is a crop of couples I cannot stand; those who differ and air their dirty linen in public. To me that is as embarrassing as airing torn and smelly panties outside on a communal hanging line, for everyone to see.

Some people for some strange reason like to think that they are the only people with problems, and that everyone wants to hear about them.

People should learn to sort out their differences the old school way; like our parents used to. Older folks of gone by days, when faced with differences, they always dealt with them in hushed tones and in the privacy of their bedroom.

Publically apologising

Last Monday I was going through the newspapers in an attempt to get some inspiration, and to kick off my Monday blues. But lo and behold, I stumbled upon a notice of a husband publicly apologising to his wife and her family.

Huh! Romantic? I think not! To me that was more like further humiliation to the poor woman, considering her full names were published for all and sundry. Virtually everyone, including those who didn’t know about the matter got to know about it. 

Can you imagine what her colleagues said, or whispered behind her back when she was passing by? Or the humiliating phone calls she received from family, friends and, of course, from the udaku squad (nosy neighbours, workmates, sister etc.) nosing around for information.

It must have been one hell of an embarrassing Monday for the poor woman. And probably when the said husband was making the gesture he probably thought it was a brilliant idea.

Well fear not, for those who do not know the dos and don’ts of apologising to a woman, listen here. (I happen to be a self-proclaimed connoisseur on what is proper and improper in such matters).

Private matters

If you did not know, now you do: public apologies regarding private matters like a marriage or a relationship are in bad taste, if you ask me.

Why? Because they are manipulative and insincere. Men who indulge in this kind of public displays are just trying to pull the public sympathy card, plus it is very embarrassing for the parties involved.

This are the same men who are in the habit of showing women public display of affection, just a way of assuaging their guilt. (I pretty much do not care about public displays of affection.

I have no qualms about individuals who think they are the most romantic couples around town and thus chose to, for instance, exchange saliva in public! I’m just saying)  

But if a man is sincere he should apologise one on one by word and with a card and do something romantic. But when you hurt a woman so much that she refuses to see or hear from you then you have to work very hard, and stop talking.

You must first change and let her see that you have changed, no cheap or theatrics or over the top tactics will work.

An apology, a card, a rose, or a gift, are perfect for apologising but there are things that cannot be forgiven.

Women I have learnt can forgive a man for anything and everything and some men take advantage of this, but every woman has a line and once that line is crossed that man she once loved will no longer exist in her mind, soul or heart.

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