When I was a child, I remember hiding from my neighbours when I did something wrong because I knew they would punish me. Today, I cannot tell my neighbour’s children anything because they might frown at me. As a result, we have seen behaviours that are cropping up at very tender ages that are so alien; burning of schools, homosexuality in boarding schools, pornography addiction, gaming and betting addiction, drugs and substance addiction, child prostitution, children dropping out of school and running away from home, among others.
We need to go back to the roots because bringing up children without character is like a tree without roots which can be swept away by a slight wind. We have had the debate on nurture and nature for a long time and some parents argue that a child is born naturally naughty; without character. Some argue that a child adopts behaviour from what they learn and absorb from their immediate environment; nurture. According to me, both nature and nurture contribute to the upbringing of a child.
Parents are very busy nowadays due to the hard economic times and because they want to give their children better lives than they had. As a result, they wake up early to beat the traffic jam and leave the children sleeping. In the evening they come back late and find the children sleeping. During the weekends, the parents carry their work home and they type on their laptops for hours. When the parents are busy on the weekends, the children might accompany the ‘house manager’ to church and later on a date and the house manager buys them gifts to keep the secret.
When children join boarding school, the immediate ‘environment’ they adopt are their peers. The parents now become total strangers and the children can conspire to do anything to make them angry. Children, who have been struggling to look for love, affection and attention from their parents and teachers, now find it in their friends. The parents, at this point, can afford to take their children to the best schools and give them huge amounts of pocket money. They mistake this for affection. They think they know their children until that phone call comes from the school informing them that they burnt the school and are in police custody. It dawns on them that they never had time to know their children as they stare at each other through the cell grills as strangers.
It’s time for us to up the parenting game. Even with busy work schedules, let us at least spend 20 minutes a day with our children. Otherwise, the children will adopt what they see on television, on social media and in their immediate environment. Let us have timelines for television and social media. Let us keep an eye on their Tik Tok and Instagram accounts. Let us block the stuff we don’t want them to watch. Most importantly, let the children play outside; this fosters a profound sense of internal and mental peace. Open spaces provide a healthy outlet to release pent up energy and frustrations. Furthermore, outdoor games force children to negotiate rules and practice cooperation. They also explore nature, which teaches them empathy for living things which grounds their emotions. As we struggle to give them a good life today, let us secure their future.
Ms Githaiga is a former nominated MCA, Nairobi County. Karensarafina5@gmail.com
