By MICHAEL ORIEDO
Beauty, they say, rarely comes with brains. And this may also apply to loudmouths.
They talk so much that one may mistake them for braggarts. The sad thing about it is that many of them end up thinking with their mouths.
But man! You cannot blame them. It is hard to synchronise the brain and the mouth when the latter is yapping at 200 metres per second.
That is why you will find sports commentators, many of them who are loudmouthed, saying things that are irritating and misleading, especially those on radio.
You must have had the opportunity to listen to football commentators on our FM stations. They announce a goal has been scored, only for the ball to hit the post minutes later. The other day during the African Cup of Nations, one said the referee had been red carded.
Idiotic
But love or hate them, it is the idiotic things they say that makes sports entertaining.
Here is a collection, from multiple Internet sources, of annoying, funny, dumb and embarrassing slip-ups sports announcers have spewed out while commentating various games.
"And here’s Moses Kiptanui - the 19-year-old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago."
"And the line up for the final of the women’s 400 metres hurdles includes three Russians, two East Germans, a Pole, a Swede and a Frenchman."
"I like Didier Drogba because this man is a star player. He knows how to defend."
"The Republic of China, back in the Olympic Games for the first time."
"The runner has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator."
"In a sense, it’s a one-man show, except that there are two men involved, Hartson and Berkovic, and a third man, the goalkeeper."
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
"We actually got the winner three minutes from the end, but then they equalised."
Boxing
"Sure, there have been injuries and death in boxing — but none of them serious."
"Well, it is all about the two M’s, Movement and Positioning."
"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it, which is identical."
"Tottenham are trying tonight to become the first London team to win this cup. The last team to do so was the 1973 Spurs side."
"To win against Holland, you have to play the Dutch."
"I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona."
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air even longer."
"This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
"For most people, death comes at the end of their lives."
"That is just the tip of the ice cube."
"We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite."
"The FA is still optimistic about England’s bid to stage the World Cup in 2006."
"That’s the fastest time ever run, but it’s not as fast as the world record."
"What will you do when you leave football? Will you stay in football?"
"I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid."
"I am a firm believer, if you score one goal, then the other team have to score two to win."
"Peru scores their third and it’s 3-1 to Scotland."
"If that had gone in, it would have been a goal."
"Neil Sullivan has stopped absolutely everything they have thrown at him, Wimbledon 1-1 Man United."
"And... yes, it is a red card offence, but there’s no need for it. The referee has ruined the game as a spectacle. He doesn’t understand the game... he’s not a football person."
