When 25-year-old Jackline Moraa found out about her HIV status, she was devastated but has since managed to pick up the pieces and live a fulfilling life, she tells her story to SHIRLEY GENGA
Why have you decided to go public with your status?
I have chosen to go public with my HIV status so as to encourage other young people to know their status. If young people are dying of Aids because of ignorance and no one talks about it, it is the young people who will pay for the silence.
You cannot deal with something if you sweep it under the rug. A lot of young people hide their status until the worst comes their way.
Many young people end dying unnecessarily yet the condition can be maintained with the correct diet and medication, or they continue to spread the disease. I want my story to echo what those who are young and positive are going through and why knowing your status is important. Aids is not just a disease for prostitutes or the older generation, it can affect anyone and the sooner people understand this the better we can fight it.
How was your life before finding about your HIV status?
I was just like any other young people out there I liked fun just like everyone else.
I am very ambitious. After completing high school I enrolled for the KATC (Kenya Accounting Technician’s Certificate) at KCA (Kenya College of Accountancy). I love math and accounting but could not hack the theory part. I did the KATC twice but when I did not pass, I left. We are six children in my family and from a very young age, I was very industrious and always found a business to do. So I got into business and very soon I was a prominent businesswoman in Kisumu town. I had salons, accessory shops and even my own matatu. I was doing very well.
How did you contract the virus?
When you are young, you feel invincible and I would engage in sex without protection. At the start of a new relationship we would talk about protection but during the course of the relationship, it would be forgotten.
When did you find out about your status?
Last year, I became very sick. I had lost so much weight, I could not eat or move from bed. I had symptoms of malaria, typhoid and anaemia but after I was treated it was found that all I had was anaemia. The doctor stressed that I only needed to get tested. I refused at first but when my condition became bad I knew I had to get the test and face my fears.
What was your reaction?
I had reached the point in my life where nearly died. I just wanted to know what was killing me. I had already gone through, denial, bargaining, anger and finally I had accepted. A lot of people get stuck in denial and that is the worst stage to be in because you not only hurt yourself but others as well.
What did you do when you found out?
I called some of my friends and told them the news. I was so low, I knew I had the virus but I did not know what was next in my life after all I’m only 25, I’m not married and do not have children. I felt like my life was ending before my very eyes. At first, my friends were very supportive but soon they disappeared and I was left alone.
I went through a period of doubt and loneliness and that was when I called my pastor in Kisumu and she has been very supportive. Out of my old group of friends I only have one whom when I call and I need money he never hesitates to send something. But I understand because the stigma is still there and the disease is still considered as something for prostitutes or for bad people yet it can happen to any one of us.
What was your family’s reaction?
At first, I did not tell my mum because I was scared of rejection. I’m the first born in my family, the one who is meant to be responsible. The one that everyone looks up to and I was very shamed.
When I eventually told her, her reaction was totally different from what I expected, she made me feel safe. She took me under her wing and, for the first time since getting diagnosed, I felt like I was not alone.
I did not know that at times opening up was a very good thing. I did not have to carry the burden in my heart alone. Whenever I get sick I do not have to lie to my mother because she knows.
With the reality of your status what are some of your lifestyle changes?
I not only have to eat a lot but I also have a balanced diet. I also have to take medication everyday, two in the morning and three in the evening. I cannot miss taking my medication, it is part of my new life.
Are you still doing your businesses?
I eventually had to close down my businesses, paying the loan for my matatu run everything down. I should never have invested in the matatu it took more than it
gave back; it reached a point whatever I was getting from my businesses (accessory shops and salons) I was using to pay my matatu loan.
Last year, I got a job in marketing. I would get sick sometimes and my boss noticed some of my symptoms and suspected I was sick. So she told me to take a break and go get better and then come back as she would keep my job for me. When I came back she informed me that she had no room for me as my job was taken.
That hurt me a lot but I left it in God’s hands. I’m feeling well now and currently looking for a job, I do not want to be a burden to my mother. She already has my five siblings to take care of.
What advice would you give young people?
Go get yourself tested and If you must have sex, please use protection. Girls
today are more worried about getting pregnant than contracting Aids so they will take pills and have unprotected sex.
Aids is real and it is out there, it can happen to anyone, it does not discriminate. The best thing you can do is to abstain and if you must please use protection all the time. If you get tested and find you are positive it is not the end of the world, life goes on.
If you can detect it early and get on medication you can outlive many. HIV does not kill. It is manageable. Refuse the stigma and go on with your life, it’s all about being responsible.
How do you find strength?
I gave my life o God and he has been good to me. I seriously do not know how I would have made it without him.
Tell us about your youth initiative?
It’s not on paper or on Facebook but whenever I get the chance I talk to young people, it is something I’m very passionate about. Maybe if they hear it from someone who is young they will listen.
What have you planned for your future?
I hope to get a job soon and one day even to get married and start my own family. After I had found out I was positive I had ruled that out but after I joined a support group called Stacy Care Foundation, I met other people who were positive like me and the were living. Those who were married had kids and the single people who wanted to meet someone were being set up on dates with other positive people. It made me realise that I could also settle down and have a family one day. This is only the beginning not the end.
