Beauty; there is nothing more relative than it, yet in a wide scale, there is a clear cultural pattern of what is considered attractive in a woman. We live in a superficial world where it is very difficult being an unattractive woman.
What is worse than just being an unattractive woman is being an unattractive woman who has stunning friends. You are automatically relegated as the ugly friend, the ugly duckling among swans.
We’d all like to believe that beauty doesn’t make the person, that the person makes the beauty, but at the end of the day, the harsh truth is that attraction is attraction, and sexual desire is influenced by deep-rooted evolutionary impulses that people don’t understand and can’t control.
When you are the ‘ugly’ friend and you are out with your attractive friends, guys will ignore you. They will only befriend you just so you can hook them up with your prettier pals. However, just because, unlike your friends, you lost the genetic lottery, doesn’t mean you have to live a lonely and miserable life.
Here are some tips on how to deal with being the ugly friend:
Don’t obsess over your ugliness
I get it, it sucks being the ugly friend. It sucks that you are constantly being passed over for your hot friends. It’s painful when you think you are making headway with a guy, only to have your hot friend walk in the room and instantly divert his attention.
Don’t be resentful or envious of your friend. If you are truly friends and have a good friendship, don’t let something as simple as that ruin it. Also, don’t ruin the fun by sulking and refusing to take pictures when you are out with your friends.
Leverage on your personality
No one gets by on looks alone. Physical endowments only offer a small advantage at finding and maintaining long-lasting, happy relationships. What really matters is charisma and personality.
So, while you may feel like you’re the unattractive friend, who you are on the inside makes all the difference. Strive to be who you are, and that is what comes through. That is what people will see, that is what people will respond to in the end.
Find out which traits you can play up and which to tone down when you go out to meet people. It won’t matter that your friend gets more attention if you get validation from your personality instead of your physical appearance. It won’t sting because you’ll reckon you are just not their type and that is okay. Your hot friend is also not someone’s type due to her personality.
Don’t be a loner
Half the time, guys are ignoring you and approaching your friends because once you convince yourself that you are ugly and no guy wants to date you, you become subliminally standoffish and your body language will send signals that say you are unapproachable.
Tweak your body language and vibe. Smile more often and make eye contact with people. Don’t just sit around looking on as your gorgeous besties get fawned over. Get out there and strike up conversations with other people. When they get around to meeting your hot friend, they’ll be so enamoured with you, they won’t care so much that she’s hot.
Anyone can be attractive
No matter how satisfied you are with your looks, you could be better looking with a little more effort. You probably have an idea as to what in you is repelling men. Is it that you are overweight? You have acne? You don’t have a sense of style? Most of the things that make you unattractive can be worked on. Improve on what you can and it will help you with confidence and self-esteem.
@roxannekenya
