The pain and struggles of being raised by a single mother

I never stop thanking the Almighty for the far He has taken me. Looking back into my life, I have been through many ups and downs, at some point I thought I would never make it, and at other points I almost gave up. But here I am, still living a life, in which I should be thankful to the Lord for such a gift. I have lived for about a quarter of a century now, and even though some people would say that I am still young, those are over two decades and I have had a lot this far.

I am the first born in a family of two, with a single mother. My mother operates a business in Nairobi while my sister attends a boarding school upcountry. I am and was the breadwinner for my family whenever I was not in school (during campus days), and I also used the same time to look for school fees. My educational background had not been bad, neither had it been so interesting due to the problems I had especially with my school fees.

I was born and raised up in my home area. I attended a local school there since 1996 to 2004 with my cousins. We learnt a lot from our parents, and we always had to work hard. When we were not in school, you would find us either in the shamba working on the food crops or in the house, either studying or doing different tasks. This is how I was brought up. My great grandmother was always there for me too and I learnt a lot from her. She taught me how to work hard, and inspired me to study so hard so as to have a good life in the future. May her soul rest in peace. I therefore grew up as an all-round person, working hard in school and at home. I worked a little bit harder in my late stages in primary school, waking up at 3am every day and sleeping late at around 11p.m. The school did not have textbooks and it was so far from home. I would walk a distance of almost fifteen kilometers to get to school, and a similar distance over the weekends to get to the nearest national library for text books. I tried and got some impressive marks in my KCPE examinations, but I can admit that I really was not happy with what I got even though many people seemed to be impressed.

Time had come for me to proceed to high school. I received a letter of admission to a provincial school in Makueni County. It was a nice school in terms of discipline and performance but the problem was school fees. I remember a time when I called my mother crying after all my friends had joined school and I was still at home. I felt left out, and thought that my education was coming to an end. I had promised my mum that if I do not pass my KCPE examinations to qualify joining a national or provincial school, I would have to go back to class eight and work harder and she promised not to let me down if I passed. I thought she was now letting me down, and I did not see any future in high school. God never lets His people down; He will always be there for you when you need him and when you do not need him. I prayed hard, and mum did too. We did not know what God had in store for us, but we had faith. All this time God had been talking to my aunt to sponsor me to high school; an explosive blessing had come my way. My aunt sponsored me to high school, she bought me everything that I wanted, and paid the fee that was needed to join that school. I was so happy and thanked God for all this. I also relocated to Nairobi, to stay with her.

I started another life here. It was a little bit difficult to adapt to a boarding school, but I did adapt quickly. I was lucky there was no bullying in this school. That year, we had so many problems in my school. KCSE results were cancelled and the then principal suspended. This led to a lot of unrests, and we ended up spending almost three quarter of the year at home. This was so hard for me. Most of my relatives including my mum wanted me to transfer to another school. My aunt was not happy at all and she also wanted me to transfer, but I loved this school and I did not want to go anywhere. I prayed so hard then one time my aunt called me and asked me what I wanted to do since I was not in school. She said she would support my decision, and I told her that I never ever want to leave that school until I was done with Secondary school education. I had her back, but it was all because of the Lord. We proceeded back to school the following year, and started all a fresh with form one work. This was so hard; we had teachers every time, during the day, early in the morning and at night. I worked so hard, knowing that I have to impress my aunt so that she continues paying fees for me, and that I needed to work hard to get to a public university. I was appointed a prefect and this made it a little bit difficult since I had several duties to perform. I always worked hard, was the first person to get into the class, and the last to leave class. High school was good, and I loved this life where I was responsible for myself and for other students as a student leader.

When I was going to my final year, something changed. My aunt said that she was unable to support me at school. At this time, my mother was employed to run a small business for a relative. She earned very little. This was not enough for anything since my sister was depended on mum, and I depended on her too for upkeep while in school. As if this was not enough, the employer said that she wanted to close the business since it barely made any profits. This was the most difficult thing for us, but my mum seemed not to be giving up. She really was a fighter, and still is up to today. She told me that before I was born the Lord knew about me, He had a reason why He brought me to this world, and His reason was not for me to suffer, but to prosper and be an example to others. She told me that the Lord who saw me through primary school, the Lord who had taken me this far will not let me down, and I trusted her. I went to my great grandmother at the end of my third year when this was happening. My great grandma was a strong Christian, she prayed for me. I fasted and prayed so hard. I knew deep inside me that I was going back to school at the beginning of the following year and that nothing was going to stand on my way, even though I did not know how.

I did not know about this, but God had taken care of everything. A friend of my mum knew about this, mum used to talk to him. He also had been checking my report forms all through since the time I was in form two, and always advised me to work hard. God brought him to us for a reason. When he knew that my mum’s job was going to be closed, he bought the business, knowing pretty well that it made no profits. He also paid my fees for the first term that year. This was the Lord’s doing, He sent a Good Samaritan into my life. I always thank God for this up to today. This man just brought in money to the business despite the losses it was making, and he never asked for anything in return not even a single cent neither any payment in any form. This just inspired me to work so hard. I knew that God had a purpose for my life; He had plans for me to prosper, and be an example to others. I worked so hard and was ready for the final exams. I passed in my KCSE examinations and got admission to one of the public universities, to pursue a degree course in Computer Science.

After high school, I knew that I had grown up to a man. My mum was now operating her small business in Nairobi. I knew that time was coming for me to join campus, and I did not want to bother my mum with fees anymore. I therefore looked for work to do. I got employed at Sarit Centre Shopping Mall in Westlands in a restaurant as a waiter. I had no experience at all, but I had the Lord’s favor with me. I found a nice Indian lady, my boss’ wife, who taught me a lot. In a week's time, I worked like someone who had a years’ experience. I earned KSh. 320 per day and there were also tips especially with nice and appreciative customers. It was my first employment and it was so good for me. I saved good money at this time. My boss was not a nice man, he would use abusive language on us, but I could never give up, I knew what I was working for and I also knew that I was not going to be here forever. When time came for me to join campus, I had saved enough money to pay for the whole of my first years fees, buy all the stuff that I needed and even stay in school without asking for any financial help for the whole of the first semester.

I then joined campus. Life was so different here. It was not what I was used to in high school. Here I had to pay rent; I had to buy food and cook for myself or buy ready-made food. Things were so different. I found a lot of freedom here, no one cared if you attended classes or not, no one cared what you did with your life. I realized that I really had grown old enough to take care of myself and be on my own. I reflected on my past experiences and thanked God for this far that He had taken me. I worked hard here too and never wanted to let the people who had been there for me down. This first year was not difficult for me and I worked so hard. At the end of my first year, I just could not stop thinking about the school fees for the second year.

When we closed school for long holidays, I had to work again to raise money for school fees and my upkeep. I got a job in a Chinese Restaurant as a waiter. This time I had experience, and I started working immediately without any training. It was a good job, I thanked God for it even though it was less paying compared to the previous one. I earned KSh. 250 per day. I worked hard to save money for my fees. I did save some cash but this time round it was not enough. I went to school and paid some of the fees. I also paid the rent for the first month. This time round it was a little bit harder for me, I did not have enough cash but I knew deep inside my heart that I was never going to give up and that through the Lord’s hand I was going to make it through campus. One day while in class, I received a call from my mum. This was unlike her because she usually called me at night. My great grandmother had been ill and I knew something bad had happened. My mum was crying and I did not need her to tell me what really had happened. This was a big blow to me. She was an inspiration in my life and I always knew that she always had the best interest for me. We were so close and this was a big blow for me and for my family too. But it was God’s will, and this had to be respected. At her funeral, we had several meetings with all the members of our family, and that’s when my aunts and uncles decided to help me after I told them that I had been having problems with school fees and upkeep. When I got back to school, through one of my aunts, they contributed a good amount of money and sent it to me. I was able to pay school fees with this. I also could contact them when I had a problem, and I would get help. One of my aunts had been there for me since then, and she had been doing so many things for me in campus. She is just like a mum to me, and she inspires me to work hard every day. This was just the Lord’s doing. The Lord who closes doors is the same Lord who opens doors. I realized that it was just as important to thank God for the closed doors as much as we thank Him for the opened doors. He has a good reason for everything that happens. I was able to complete my second year.

When we closed for long holidays, I still had to work. I got another job as a waiter in a restaurant in Upper Hill. Here, I saved money too, and was able to pay up to 60% of my school fees for the first semester. Since this was not enough, I contacted my relatives and they helped me raise the other amount. My aunt had also been there for me, and she had been helping me a lot with my upkeep. This went on and I completed campus. I am now working for an international I.T. company.