Hi Uncle Ted
To be frank, the leaking of DJ Creme's sex video has terrified me to the core. Three weeks ago, I shot something similar on my phone while doing the nasty with a girl I met on Facebook. I shared the clip with her on WhatsApp but we broke up a week later. Is there any chance she can leak it on social Media?
Pato.
First, let me congratulate you for filming yourself in a sex act for posterity. Contrary to what people say, I believe that Kenya will only become an industrialised nation when the youth and those not so young explore and exploit mobile phone technology and social media to make their humdrum existences more exciting.
Second, I wouldn't worry too much about your film leaking, Pato. You don't strike me as rich, famous or a political or religious leader. Trust me, so long as you are an average Joe, Kenyans don't give a damn about your abilities or lack thereof in the sack. So if it leaks, they won’t even remember it, or you, an hour later.
But having noted that the video clip you mention elicited more excitement than al Shabaab attack, I would advice that you quit your current job and become a full time porn star. There is a hungry market for that sort of thing here.
Uncle Ted’s kind of wisdom is what your relationship needs. Ask and you shall be answered. Send your questions to: thenairobian@standardmedia.co.ke
