Who exactly is the Alpha female?

By R.M. Alexis

Most would rather have you believe that an assertive woman is a bad thing. That the alpha female is something you are warned off and are advised to steer clear off.

This part of the world wants to label independence and a go-getter attitude in a woman as something to be hidden from view like stained underpants. Only submissive, yes-sir women needed here. We are handling fragile Kenyan male ego, you know. That’s why they call and whine on radio talk shows that their women changed while they were away. This is not the woman his mother talked about. She is not at his beck and call. She is not sewing his buttons or patting down his pillows. She is not the quiet demure pliable soft creature he was supposed to meet in adulthood.

Forget the sisterhood. It is dead. These women have far more in common with alpha men than they do with 80-85 per cent of the female population.

Here’s the scoop. Mark liked Jane. Jane liked Mark. At the party, Mark asked Jane to sit on his lap. She smiled and sat next to him instead because she wanted to be equal and not objectified. Enter the alpha female. The definition of the two types of women; the ones you marry and the ones well… you don’t get to marry.

Alpha females exist in real life, but historically society has forced women to hide their alpha-ness.  

Their brains are wired to think like men – which they do so with feminine flair. Men are either intrigued or intimidated. So how is she different? For one, career is a huge part of their identity. They are more aggressive and actively pursue power and status, enjoy recognition but don’t need approval from peers. They work like donkeys. They are devoted to their children, but never put their careers on hold for them.

She is not looking for a man to take care of her, she takes care of herself. She won’t put herself in a position where she owes a man. She is comfortable in her skin, dresses to impress, succumbs and lives to a disciplined physical ideal. She gives her opinion and is not afraid to fight for what is hers  and for those she is fiercely protective of.

One thing is clear; she will step over non-Alpha men if they let her. It is enough to make you squirm. You just have to come to terms with the question of whether you are a doormat or not. That’s your crusade.

Another thing is, she will mostly partner with a dominant alpha male who   takes the lead and is not intimidated by her brilliance. He will not be someone she needs to mother. The answer is simple. They don’t like to marry down.

Before you cower in fear and wave a crucifix at this ‘alien’ that you are ill-prepared for, understand the different types of women, as different strategies should be applied depending on the type of woman you choose.

 If you want it easy, date the beta female. She will not challenge you intellectually in public, she will respond with not more than a smile. She dreams of that calm, comfortable life that you want and is more approachable, believes in being courted and romanced.

Once you have pursued the beta, she will stick by your side – whether you like it or not.

Dating an alpha female on the other hand is more like the Israel-Palestine conflict: she won’t give an inch. It all comes to down to whether you want someone’s life to revolve around you or you want an equal partner. And there, you will have an answer on who will   make you happy. Just cut your pant according to your butt!