Choosing the right gift

By Mercy Kagwiria

Those who engage in gift-giving regularly will appreciate that this is no easy task. Often we are lost for thought as to what gift would be appropriate to the receiver. The selection process brings with it great anxiety, apprehension and un-ease especially during the internal processes of vetting the recipient’s tastes, preferences, likes and dislikes. The underlying truth is that giving is about the receiver not the giver. One is therefore put to task to select the most appropriate gift. In carefully considering that statement, we need to ask ourselves the chief question: Is there such a thing as "the appropriate gift?" The aptness of a gift is determined through consideration of several factors which include circumstances under which the gift is being presented; prevailing relationships between you and the receiver; intention or message being sent across; and the probable preference and social status of the receiver. A gift may be appropriate for one occasion but be totally inapt for another. Take the example of a staff member giving her boss a perfume or a piece of intimate clothing. While a boyfriend or husband would totally appreciate a box of perfume, a not-so-close person may get deep into thoughts wondering if they have body odour while the tie may imply a desire to be close to someone’s heart.

Some gifts have indigenous meaning and symbolism, which may be interpreted differently. These interpretations are a blank cheque to both positive and negative judgment by the receiver.

Here are some guidelines to selecting a gift based on different persons and situations:

For a superior in the office

This may be the most sophisticated gift-giving task. This is because the wrong interpretation may lead to great pessimism, embarrassment, memo and even dismissal. Timing is critical and you should not give a gift when there is an ongoing process in which you are involved for example a series of promotion interviews, performance evaluation or when under scrutiny for a misdeed. Under such circumstances, a gift may be interpreted as a bribe to influence the decision and outcome of the underlying process. Also, when there have been conflicts arising from sexual harassment or other, it is better to avoid giving anything (regardless of if you were the provoked party), sometimes huge tables may be turned against over small deeds, even with genuine intentions.

Most institutions have a policy on gifts to staff members so as a baseline measure to adequately protect yourself, enquire about this. Avoid very personal and particular gifts since these have great leeway for misinterpretation. Impersonal and corporate gifts work best and these may include motivational books, organisers, folders and decent pieces of art. Do not spend too much because your seniors will definitely know your average income hence may not be amused if you spent a significant amount of your earnings on a gift for them.

For parents

Often we forget to reward those who deserve the most precious of gifts. Although everyone loves receiving big and expensive gifts, our parents may be overly sensitive about the cost of a gift. This is especially so when they know you have had a difficult year financially, or when income is not stable. As a matter of fact, parents appreciate simple, cost effective and thoughtful gifts (mostly those that money cannot buy). These may include pictures, drawings, tapestry, books and batik works.

For your better half

Like in any gift-giving task, there are several variables to choosing a gift for your boyfriend, girlfriends or spouse. Most people opt for the easy way out of buying a bunch of flowers or chocolate but this only helps bring boredom and resentment. These are not gifts for ceremonial times like Christmas, anniversary and birthday. Through the year if you listened carefully your, partner has on several occasions expressed a desire for this or other thing in their life; take this as a guideline and work along it.

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