Most people think that just because you are married, you MUST ALWAYS be with your spouse.
This has led many husbands to be
over-possessive and many wives to be paranoid when their spouse is away from
them.
This is unhealthy because before
you are a spouse, you are an individual. You never cease being an individual
just because you are married. You should never lose yourself just because you
are married. Yes, in marriage, two become one, but that doesn't mean you stop
being a whole individual.
So as you build a life, a family, a
future together, allow your spouse to have some "ME" time.
Your spouse will need
"ME" time to personally worship God and cultivate a strong
relationship with God.
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Your spouse will need
"ME" time to gather up his/her thoughts and review life.
Your spouse will need
"ME" time to be in the room alone and breathe and not be a spouse or
a parent.
Your spouse will need
"ME" time to sometimes take a walk without you and refresh.
Your spouse will need
"ME" time to watch his/her own TV shows or to read because this is
stimulating.
Your spouse will need
"ME" time to interact and socialise with friends to grow and advance
in life because you are not the only one in your spouse's life, provided that
those friends are not a threat to your marriage.
Your spouse will need
"ME" time to strategize and pursue purpose because, in as much as you
are married, you both have an individual purpose which you will be answerable
to God for. Sometimes even you will not fully understand your spouse's calling,
and it is OK, provided the calling doesn't break the home.
Your spouse might need
"ME" time to travel and vent after a tough year, and even if you do
travel together, your spouse might need a few moments alone just to feel the
sand, the breeze, the sun, and release burdens.
"ME" time doesn't mean
your spouse doesn't enjoy spending time with you. It just means that your
spouse occasionally needs to find himself/herself to love you better. A healthy
individual makes a healthy spouse.
"ME" time should never
exceed time together. Everything should be in moderation. Don't get so used to
spending time alone that you two start to drift apart; you start coming to bed
late, you don't open up to your spouse. No... "ME" time should be
only for a short while.
Lastly, you two will find it easy
to give each other "ME" time when there is honesty, transparency, and
you two work to make each other secure. When you misbehave, flirt with others,
disrespect your spouse; your "ME" time will be seen as a ticket to
misbehave. When you show your spouse love and respect, occasional space and
silence is not seen as a cause for alarm.
© Dayan Masinde
To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES
written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN
and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your
email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.
To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES
written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word
WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to
your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.
_______________________
YOU ARE INVITED TO THE MOTO MOTO
COUPLE SEMINAR: MOMBASA EDITION
DATE: Saturday, March 21st 2020
VENUE: White Rhino Hotel, Mombasa
TIME: 2:30pm to 6pm.
TOPICS TO DISCUSS: INTIMACY,
IN-LAWS, FINANCES, UNITY, COMMUNICATION
CHARGE: 500 ksh per person.
Come with your spouse or come take
notes for you and your spouse. To book your spot or for all enquiries call or
text 0721590954
SPEAKER: DAYAN MASINDE. Organised
by MARRIED & SAVED
