With hawkers, you are between a rock and a hard place

Anyone who has walked to the numerous open air markets especially in Nairobi know that the traders are crafty people. If your intention was to ‘window’ shop, you might as well make a purchase without your will.

“Karibu customer kuona ni bure, kupima ni bure, kuuliza pia ni bure.”(Welcome customer, it’s free to see, measure and ask the prices). One will nudge you to try that show, shirt or blouse.

As soon as you step into that tent or shop, your freedom, in 90% of the cases, cease to exist. When you tell the shop attendant that you just want to try, he will pick several pairs to your liking. You try this and that, another color, another model, a newer fashion, another one supposedly from Italy etc.

“Kiatu ya mtumba ni kiatu. Wachana na zile za maduka hazikai.”(Second hand shoe is durable.Leave alone those from the shop they are not durable). He or she will blast you, knowingly. All this time, after ten minutes or so, you are clueless about the prices whatsoever. Reason? When you inquire the price, you will be told, “Pima kwanza usijali bei.”(Try first don’t worry about the price). And you are ‘relieved’ that the price will be as pocket-friendly as you feel.

Then you settle into that cute pair of sharp shooters or trouser ‘ya material’. When you ask the price, finally, it will hit you like a bombshell!

“Three thousand five hundred for the shoes, mitumba? You ask surprised. You toss away the shoes and instead ask for the trouser so that at least you ‘promote’ the businessperson.

“A thousand five hundred! And it’s the trousers only.” You fume with fury wondering why you stopped to ask for the price in the first place. The pleas from the seller that price is negotiable almost falls on deaf ears, but you give in perhaps it would drop to, say, 500.

“Leta 1450, unifungulie kazi. Na viatu nimekukatia pia 50 yote ni 4900.”(Pay 1450 you are the first customer today. Total is 4900 I have reduced even for the shoes). He tells you as he picks a black polythene to pack the items for you. The time is around 4.pm, and you believe he hasn’t sold anything? In the meantime, a cold sweat is running down the back and face considering that the wallet contains two hundred shillings.

“I will pass by tomorrow. Right now I have no cash with me.” You excuse yourself.

“M-pesa iko pale buda, twende ukatoe tu pale.”(M-pesa shop is just here, go and withdraw). He tells as he drags you to a nearest M-pesa outlet. Never mind that you have a single digit as the balance. First thinkers have used the excuse that they use Equitel or Airtel money, so as to escape.

You are now between the proverbial rock and a hard place, only that it is real for you, you know. Where did it all start, an innocent nudge to just see and ask the price.

But there are those sellers who take the prize for being the rudest ones one could encounter on this earth. Should you end up not buying their wares, you will not leave empty handed, literally.

“Mbuzi wewe, umeniharibia wakati na kumbe haukua unanunua.” One will unashamedly blast out after you walk away. Or yet another will yell out, “Mia tano hata wewe ukiona ni pesa, kwenda kabisa.”

Remember, a few minutes ago this was wooing you like a politician to try for free only to turn to a beast later. Still on the salesmen, I have seen some men touch ladies suggestively in the name of attracting them to buy clothes. You can touch the hand, but the backside? Matatu touts are not the only ones with such a habit (touching inappropriately). A lady with a confession, somewhere?