By Chiquitta

Let me be the first to declare it: crunk is dead. Ask me why and I’ll give you myriad reasons. I once loved the energy that crunk injected into the entertainment industry until it became too much. It didn’t help that music programmes on local TV kept crunk on heavy rotation all day everyday.

All you had to do was switch channels if you wanted to catch a repeat of whatever crunk song you missed on the other channel. I am not sorry to see crunk go, in my opinion it had made rap look boxed in. Strippers, rides, money and clubbing was all crunk seems to dwell on and for some reason and Kenya’s young’uns have lapped this up like it’s going out of style. Well, finally, I am beginning to see the hold that crunk had finally waning with shows like StreetVibez that showcase hip-hop at it’s finest. If you still don’t believe me, here are the signs of the times…

Lil’ Wayne goes rock

Lil’ Wayne the poster child of successful crunk has decided to do what he actually wanted to do all along: Rock and Roll. Rap has always had a love/hate relationship with rock and this has made fans and artistes extra territorial with rap music. They fear what happened to rock (once black now white) will happen to rap. Eminem may actually be the first and the last successful white rapper. However, if all he can rap about of late is Kim Kardashians cakes, then his career may well be over. So now you have Lil’ Wayne trying to take back the music by switching to rock, we all know he’s always wanted to do this since that Leather So Soft video. He can’t sing a lick but with the help of a vocoder even the most tone deaf frog can sound like Whitney Houston pre-Bobby Brown.

Fake south rappers

South has its share of grimy rappers but there are a few wannabe thugs in the mix. Lets take the good example of Rick " the biggest boss" Ross. This guy claims he hates the popo yet he used to be an officer at a correctional facility. Basically he didn’t do time, he just watched the real Gs do time while he nursed his dreams of making it big. What’s worse is that he tried to deny this until pictures of him in uniform surfaced and now he is trying to play it off by calling himself Officer Ross. Then there was the infamous line "I know Pablo, Noreaga…the real Noreaga, he owes me a hundred favours" in his Hustlin’ song. In real life Rick Ross admitted he has never met the real Noreaga. He probably hopes to never cross his path and have to explain these "hundred favours".

Short but sweet

Once a crunk hit is over it’s over. While I credit crunk for giving R&B a new edge, you must admit, Usher can make all the love he wants in the club but he will never top the success of Yeah. The song, released during the height of crunk music featured none other than the original crunk-master himself Lil’ John. Yeah went on to be his best selling dance single to date. Crunk also set off Ciara’s career when she came out up with Crunk&B. However, the princess of crunk almost lost her footing as she struggled to remain relevant as new sounds by singers like Rihanna eclipsed her efforts. Ciara, who used to be bigger than Rihanna had to re-release her new album Fantasy Ride after the dismal performance of the single Go Girl. She has had some success with Love Sex and Magic featuring Justin Timberlake, a huge hit which is all pop and zero crunk. It seems even a Crunk&B princess knows when to abandon a sinking ship.

Recession

Crunk like all genres of music has been hit by recession. It just doesn’t make sense to sing along to throwing money at strippers and driving a Cadillac when you don’t have a job. Crunk’s hedonistic lifestyle is finally catching up and unless you are not a Ying Yang twin, TI or Lil’ Wayne, there is no point in boasting about a lifestyle you are no longer living. We all know once the cheques stop coming, the party is over.

T-pain

The vocoder, the colourful clothes, the fact that he seems to be everywhere…Urgh! T-Pain’s crunk fuelled fame is starting to wear thin. He doesn’t know it yet but it’s time to hang up his circus hat and admit that indeed it’s been a good run. Goodbye and thank you T-Pain for single-handedly murdering what was left of R&B.