Fishing in nostrils and other places

Now picking one’s nose can seem the most natural thing to do when one feels uncomfortable or has an itchy sensation in that area. There is nothing wrong with removing the offending speck or whatever it is. But it is wrong when you do it with unrestrained aplomb, especially in full view of people. It is even worse when you seem to be enjoying it.

I had the unfortunate experience of witnessing a smartly dressed man pick his nose with such poise it seemed like the most natural thing on earth.

He stuck his middle finger deep into his left nostril where it stayed for not less than 10 seconds. He then brought it out and minutely surveyed whatever it had come out with. He shook it off and the same finger delved into his nose again. It took longer up there this time and when it did eventually come out, it went through the same rigorous surveying.

Removed handkerchief

To my horror he removed a handkerchief and blew his nose. I wondered why he had not used the hanky in the first place.

It would have spared us the nausea and horror he caused us as we watched him fish in his nostrils. How can someone do this with such abandon and without a tinge of embarrassment?

It is a bit acceptable for kids to pick their noses until they learn better manners. To them it is an instinctive thing. But when an unashamed grown up does it, it is not only disgusting but downright rude.

Shame on all those who, unashamedly, do this in matatus, lifts and queues. A handkerchief on the streets would cost a paltry sum of Sh20. Surely many can afford this, the economic crunch notwithstanding.

Where silence is truly golden

A conference or a church is a place where one needs to be at their most attentive. Unfortunately, there are those who will not allow you this pleasure.

Fine, a speaker might be boring once in a while, but this is not an excuse for one to disrupt him or her. Others will do this by booing while other will openly engage in their own conversations thereby disrupting other listeners.

Churches are most notorious for these kind of disturbances. The day’s preacher might be the most charismatic ever, but this is not a reason for some members of the congregation to disrupt others.

During the sermon you will hear them shout, "Amen, pastor", "Preach it brother, oh yes", "Glory to God" and then they will stand and clap.

"Oh yes, glory halleluiah," they will shout so loudly that they will distract others from listening to the sermon. It is good as a sign of appreciating the preacher, but when it hinders others from listening to the sermon it becomes a vice.

Fine, the preacher might have mentioned something that really touched the individual, but this is not a licence to disturb others. Such people will scream their heads off during prayers to the extent that their neighbours cannot even hear themselves pray leave alone hear God.

Others at, say, a conference will be so busy poking holes in the speaker’s presentation they will learn nothing.

"Did you hear the way he pronounced that word?" someone will ask those seated next to him.

— Joseph Muchiri