Joyce has been married for four years and they have three children. Her husband John comes from a united family and as a result, they regularly organise family meetings. John is particularly close to his younger brother Rob and they are always together.
But even though her husband and Rob are best friends, Joyce has never been close to Rob. Joyce only became close to Rob last year when she went back to school to do her Masters degree and found out that Rob was in the same class.
Because she did not know anyone else in the class, she developed a habit of sitting next to her brother-in-law. As a result, they became good friends and soon they were doing homework together and even meeting before class for tea. Joyce further claims she would find herself longing for the day to end so she could spend time with Rob in the evening during their class time.
They have been attending classes for more than one year and according to Joyce, their friendship has grown into a serious attraction and she now has strong feelings for her brother-in-law. Scared about the feelings, she tried to get Rob out of her mind but nothing worked.
A week ago, Rob told her he was in love with her and she also told him her feelings about him. Both find themselves in a dilemma as they are married with children but they are attracted to each other. Although she is attracted to her husband’s younger brother, she is still in love with her husband and does not want to end her marriage. Rob on the other hand told her he did not love his wife of six years and was willing to leave his wife and two kids for her. Joyce wrote claiming she does not want to have an affair or to leave her husband but is helpless on how she feels about her brother-in-law.
My advice to Joyce is that she has to be careful before she does something that would make her regret. She needs to remember her decision would not only affects her family but the whole extended family. Having an affair with her husband’s brother would not only be tragic but also disastrous and shameful. That while she is attracted to this man, it does not mean she needs to act on the feelings. She needs to withdraw from her brother-in-law and reduce the time she spends with him, if possible to even defer from school for a while. Feelings are here today, but they burn out and are gone tomorrow.
