Let's rescue boy child without abandoning girl child agenda

That the boychild is under siege globally is a stark reality.

The debate has been more on how to restore the status of the boy without affecting the gains made in uplifting the girl. There have been fears in some quarters, especially among women movements, that such a move would not only erode the gains but might actually reverse them.

It is thus very encouraging that as Maendeleo ya Wanawake celebrates their 70th anniversary, the plight of the boychild has caught their attention.

At their annual general meeting this past week, the giant organisation included in its agenda the need to champion recovery of the waning fortunes of the male gender. This is significant.

Sometime back, a young Christian woman asked: “Bishop, what would you say if I got a child for myself without getting married?” Without showing any signs of shock or surprise, I asked the young lady why she would want to do such a thing. Her answer was swift and clear – men are useless!

According to her, even very well-educated men have no spine. They feel intimidated when they see a girl progressing in their career. “I don’t want to marry such a man,” the girl concluded.

In another case, a mother was distraught. Their son who completed university more than two years ago, locks himself up in his room day in day out – making no effort whatsoever at finding a job or something to do. In the meantime, his younger sister who just completed her degree a few months ago has secured a fairly good job after volunteering her services at an NGO.

The truth is that such stories abound. Young men seem to have lost their sense of worth and dignity. Fervour and valour have been replaced with drugs, alcohol, gambling and promiscuity. Meanwhile, the girlchild is zipping past to success! Many employers report that in any interview session, the girls readily outperform the boys.

Furthermore, studies indicate that, globally, there has been a reversal in school dropouts, with boys more likely to drop out of school. In some countries, the boychild has been found to be 20 times more likely to be imprisoned. This is a trend that should worry any society.

Even on the worrying increase in gender violence, it is worth noting that whereas the violence of yesterday was mainly the result of superiority complex, today it is mainly the result of inferiority complex. Because of women empowerment, men find themselves outsmarted in almost all fronts – education, jobs, income levels, confidence levels and others.

The only thing men are left with is physical strength, which they readily unleash on their women in frustration. What must we do? First, we must review the gender narrative from exclusivist to inclusivism. The empowerment of girls does not have to come at the expense of that of boys. When a candle is used to light another candle, both candles give equal light – and together they shine brighter. Lighting candles of women and girls must not mean putting out that of boys and men. They must both be allowed to shine side by side.

In a recent statement, Prof Margaret Kobia, the Gender and Youth Affairs Cabinet secretary, called for inclusivity in empowerment of boys and girls.

Prof Kobia observed that society has given the girl child a lot of focus at the expense of boys. She called on the government and other players to advocate for inclusivity, where girls and boys are given equal attention.

We must agree with Prof Kobia because, unless something drastic is done, the man as we have known him may soon be extinct. In his place will be a caricature – a mongrel that is neither man nor woman. This creature plaits his hair, wears earrings and carries a handbag.

Whereas some may argue that there is nothing wrong with all this, the truth is that our girls do not like this creature, our women abhor this mongrel, and real men disdain this house husband whose wife is the breadwinner.

We want our man back in the rough and tumble where only real men survive! For this we salute Maendeleo ya Wanawake for mooting this subject. Let us work in concert to rescue our boys and men!

 -doginde@thecatalead.com