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Lord Jesus, I need the exact whip you used to
beat fools who were doing biashara in the synagogue instead of worshiping Jehovah. But why? I want to whip the 21ST century women who claim to be feminists, tough and ambitious
and still stoop low to a boy (no man can offer this nonsense) who offers come
we stay arrangements! Yes, women I’m just about to give you a short,
tough sermon because we are headed fast in a very dangerous direction! Before I
start, I beg to take you to memory lane. Remember the days when Njeri your
single mother sold everything (except her soul) to take you to a prestigious
school up until the University of Nairobi where you graduated with a Master’s
degree? She prayed each day that your life will be better than hers and that
you will succeed beyond her imagination - you did. She took you to
church and even prayed that you don’t get pregnant out of wedlock and thanks to
P2, that didn’t happen! So why on earth do you forget all that advice and move
in with a boy you barely know? Now pull your stool (you don’t deserve a
sofa here) as I give you a few reasons as to why you should avoid this rubbish! 1. You are precious: Woman don’t you know that Adam was a first
draft and Eve was a masterpiece? God designed the woman after he made man
because we are just so special! Quit offering yourself for free because you are
so damn expensive! Fear and risk: How Kenyan women fight to survive in labour rooms How older women are becoming GBV targets in Kenya - Report CAVB President Hajij calls for broader growth in men and beach volleyball 2. A man needs a job before getting a
woman: I know all the men
are loading their guns right now- go ahead and shoot! Adam was given a garden
before he was given a woman. So don’t be tempted to house your boy (as I
said earlier huyo si mwanaume) in the name of love simply because he is
broke! Let him go and hawk sweets in a citihoppa but don’t
feed or even dare to think of housing him! 3. You will age prematurely: Any boy who doesn’t want commitment will get you
admitted to a mental hospital faster than you can pronounce IEBC! He will cheat
on you, eat your cash, demand lungula every day and crown that
package with two babies and a serious STI! Shindwe! 4. Your mind will retrogress: In short you will become dumb! Mjinga! I
know you are wondering why; instead of engaging your mind on how you will get
to the corner office or buy that kaplot in Syokimau,
your mediocre mind will just be thinking of getting his mama the latest vitenges from
Ghana in a bid to make him propose. What demon is that? 5. Cheap labor services: Your worth will be on the same level with a mop,
a washing machine (you) and a sufuria. You will wash his underwear (which has
toured all counties), clean the house, cook him a five star meal (with your
hard earned cash) and give him babies but this ego centered fool will never
wife you! Save your manicured nails! 6. You deserve a good man: Good men still exist (they are countable in
Kenya though) and all you need is a little bit of patience as you eat life in a
big spoon (read big house).You deserve a man who will worship the ground you
walk on, a man who will honor you and love you like you are the only precious
person left because guess what- you are! 7. Blood pressure is fatal: It kills, yes I said it. Stop doubting me! So
girl, please quit all the desperate moves, don’t listen to fools who tell you
that the come we stay will be legal after six months. If he
can’t put his ugly signature on a marriage certificate, run for your life! 8. What God puts together, let no man
lay asunder: Sermon can’t end without
mentioning the author of marriages. God does not bring to you confused breed of
boys. He brings you gentlemen. Gentlemen like Joshua who said ‘as for me and my
house, we shall serve the lord!’ Gentlemen who will guide you and honor you,
gentlemen who will give you cute babies with small noses and great minds like
yours truly. So I shall spare my whipping session for now but please, leave
these boys alone, I beg! Can I get an Amen?
READ MORE
8 reasons why Kenyan women should avoid come we stay relationships
By Naomi Susa
| Oct. 28, 2016
