Great expectations as Kenyan delegation ‘visits’ Obama

By Dan Okoth

Congratulations to US President-elect Barack Obama. As the ‘Obama’ public holiday ends, bar hoppers staggered back to work, singers turned down the volume and workers returned to work.

Like it sometimes happens during a holiday, I had a dream of Obama’s first days as president. He was receiving goodwill delegations from around the world and Kenyans got a chance to meet him.

Seated under a mango tree, President Obama received Prime Minister Raila Odinga and President Kibaki with hugs as the delegation of 40 watched. The crowd was soon jostling to shake his hand.

"Erokamano jo-Kenya!" he said with an accent.

"We’ve come to congratulate you, sir," the delegation said in unison.

Government Spokesman Alfred Mutua was there with two gifts, a white goat and a brown envelope. When Obama unwrapped it and removed the letter, I saw the words ‘Apology and Clarification’ typed at the top.

In the letter, Mutua was begging for forgiveness for calling Obama "just a junior senator from Illinois". Aides had a difficult time restraining him from elaborately quoting the Bible, specifically the story of Joseph and his hungry brothers.

Obama said he had received a plea on visas. A few hundred Kenyans were willing to study Geopolitics and invest their hard-earned shillings in the land of milk and money. He had been told that in Kenya, dignitaries could dish out things like title deeds – which are far more precious - to get a visa. A few visas would cost him nothing.

A young man in the crowd whispered to the President that going to America was harder than passing a camel through the eye of a needle, and it just got more expensive the previous week (Sh10,000 at least).

American envoy Michael Ranneberger startled everyone by saying visa rules won’t change, and the delegation wished the Bush appointee a nice stay. Obama would give them another envoy to accompany them back home.

President Obama, speaking through an aide, said he would visit Kenya "very soon". Although returning as president, it would not have to be a state visit. A son returning home can never be bigger than the father, no matter how rich or powerful the city makes him. Tho! Dala en dala (home is home), he said amid applause.

Olago Aluoch nodded vigorously. He told Obama that he had ordered that Kisumu airport expanded to accommodate Air Force One.

He also told Obama that composers had finished their work and choir members, led by students from Senator Obama Secondary School, were rehearsing the songs. "You cannot afford to disappoint them, Your Excellency," he pleaded.

Obama reminded him he had visited the country twice before and this time, Air Force One would ferry him to Kogelo for his homecoming party.

A long lost uncle volunteered that he would help Obama build a simba in Kogelo. He insisted that in Luo culture, there is no way a man of Obama’s age cannot have a house in his ancestral home.

"You have two girls, one almost reaching the age of bringing cows to her father’s house," he said.

The old man said he understood Obama had been away for long but cautioned him against drawing the wrath of the spirits by wandering ‘simbaless’ out there.

"After you build the simba, you can even reclaim your position in the Luo Council of Elders and sit in meetings regularly. Age is not really an issue."

In another scene, Obama was unveiling a statue in his honour in Kisumu. The lakeside town was now a big city, complete with a new street named after its famed son. During the party to celebrate the auspicious occasion, what the residents missed after the lost election on December 2007 was more than compensated for. Hunger and thirst were banished for the day.

Just as Obama was getting into the nitty gritty of Washington politics, an ODM official got in. Would Obama kindly accept his life membership card?

As an aide took it to an anteroom, the mayor of Nairobi walked in. He had only one simple request: Was it possible to sign a twinning arrangement between the cities of Nairobi and Washington?

"We mayors can have working holidays in both cities and learn a lot from each other. For example, the arrangement benefits the Metropolitan Ministry’s plan to have helipads on major buildings, VIP lanes, and a way to block matatus from the CDB," he said.

"What the mayor of Washington can offer is not for us to say. In our culture you cannot ask for a gift, but giving a suggestion is not out of order."

Somehow the dream transported me to another corner of the White House. A special party was in progress and only Kenyans were being allowed in.

As they enjoyed the food, drink and music, a man calling himself Justice Waki came back from a field trip. A waiter selected for him a succulent piece of nyama choma to chew as soon as he had washed his hands.

Suddenly, a train blared its horn for the Kenyans. ‘Alpine Heeg’, an Eastlands matatu, was looking for passengers.

The disturbance woke me up with a start.