By William Osoro(@iamosoro)
“Archives ikihamishwa usiku, watu wengi wana weza potea”, a pal once commented. Though the idea seems farfetched, the ramifications of such an action would be dire. As a newbie in Nairobi, making your way around this big city is a mammoth task.
I can’t help but smile whenever I remember an incident I once had. Mercy was a pretty lass in one of the colleges in Nairobi I was chasing after. Being a model, the only free time she had on her hands was in the evening right before class.
After much persuasion and coaxing, she agreed to meet up with yours truly. Clad in my Sunday best black jeans and a white Calvin Klein t-shirt, I landed in town, Sh 400 in my pocket.
Being an African timer, she announced that she would be about half an hour late. “Tukutane stage ya Umoh”, the mamacita told me. Man, that girl had (we don’t talk for reasons you are about to find out) a voice similar to the sound made by honey flowing over guitar strings.
Heart pumping, I get to Haille Selassie Avenue. “Dude, we don’t know where the Umoja stage is,” my brain suddenly quips. While trying to supress the panic piling up inside, I approach a bodaboda cyclist.
“Hadi stage ya Umoh mi mangapi?” I ask the red-eyed, helmet wearing figure. After eyeing me for a second her gruffly responds, “Ni mia mbili tu.”
“What? Kwani ni hiyo stage ya Umoja iko Machakos County?” I almost ask him.
“If we get on this bodaboda we will remain with Sh 200. Given that the return fare is Sh 80, we have 120 bob to spend on our girl. Umewahi ona wapi kuku chipo ya Sh120? Unless you plan on walking (30 Km) home, let us geraurahia!” My medulla further contributes.
I do what any self-loving person would do; switch off my phone.
The nkts I later find on WhatsApp are enough to last me two lifetimes.
So I figured, if any of these four landmarks is removed from Nairobi on a Thursday evening, some of us will unknowingly end up paying Lang’ata lions a visit.
National Archives
The National Archives located along Tom Mboya is a popular meeting spot for Nairobians. I tend to think it is because of its central location near the stages for Nairobi’s most populous areas. Buruburu, Embakasi, Kangemi and most importantly, Kasarani.
Afya Centre
The tall, towering green building located off Tom Mboya Street toward Temple Road is visible from many parts of the city. Its proximity to the Bus Station and has made it a popular meeting point. Shuttle booking offices are only a stone’s throw away.
In case this landmark is repainted red one of these nights, am sure lots of people (especially from Western Kenya) will end up dispatching SOS “nimepotea” texts to relatives in Nairobi.
Uhuru Park
The historical 12.9 hectare recreation park was opened on 23 May 1969 by Mzee Kenyatta.
Given this promo, you can tell why it is a vital meeting point:
Do you have a girlfriend you would like to meet with? Are you too broke to take her for a date and (later on) book a hotel room? Don’t you worry, we have the perfect solution for you. Uhuru Park! Located along Uhuru Highway, our facility boasts of:
1. Remote corners where you can discreetly exchange kisses
2. Easy access to a wide variety of snacks such as boiled eggs, kangumus and smokies.
3. A beautiful view of the Nairobi skyline
4. Free exercise which entails chasing after street athletes who will snatch your woman’s borrowed handbag
For more information, visit us at our offices along Uhuru Highway.
Nairobi Railways.
Those who dare venture abroad (Rongai) alight here. Do I need to say more?
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Nani ako na work experiences mbili anisaidie moja ntamrudishia?
