Hippo disbands an illicit romp session leaving lovers fleeing in the nude

A man who had taken a woman for a quick romp in a bush (green lodge) near a school in Kisumu city had his moment of passion disrupted midstream by a hippopotamus that was grazing nearby.

The man reported that they were so engrossed in the act that they began making noises which he suspects attracted the wild animal.

“Unbeknown to us, her ecstatic cries were working against us. They most likely made the animal curious and it came to find out what was going on. It then stopped grazing and waded through the thicket to where we were,” said the man.

Midway through the journey of passion, the woman, who unlike the man was a bit more alert, heard a huge animal coming towards them. She immediately sent out a loud cry for help, toppling over the man in the process as they both ran helter-skelter, in their birthday suits.

“Gimoro maduong’ biro irwa kae, akia ni en ang’o, waring Ka pok ochoponwa (Something huge is coming towards us, I don’t know what it is, but let’s run before it reaches us),” shouted the woman, as she scampered for safety.

It was much later that they realised the animal was  a hippo. “It was later after we were out of danger that my woman looked back, and realised it was a hippo,” says the man.

The nude couple ran towards a nearby estate, where they disappeared in one of the houses.

Heckling colleagues

Shocked area residents, armed with machetes and other crude weapons in readiness to defend themselves against any aggression, came out and killed the animal, saying that they were fed up with it. Apparently, the area residents had witnessed a couple of incidents where hippos had invaded their farms and destroyed crops and were now becoming a threat to human life.

In an interesting turn of events, as the locals were sharing the meat, a tipsy vocal MP who fancies shaving his head bald joined the fray.

The MP, well known for heckling colleagues and calling them names in Parliament, with the help of his driver, took away a huge chunk of the meat; almost an entire thigh as someone in the crowd whistled in disbelief. He flung it in the boot of his humongous car and zoomed off.

Tickled locals almost laughed their heads off. Another person even suggested the parliamentarian may have taken the hippo meat to a hotel in the city where he would probably throw an impromptu feast.

A few moments later the police arrived in a land cruiser, perhaps thinking it was a crime scene, making the crowd to disperse.

They spent a few minutes at the scene, and took some of the meat before leaving in a huff. Immediately after they left, locals came back and began scrambling for the rest of the meat; hooves, innards (matumbo) and whatnot.