Whooping Sh20,000 for departed dog’s funeral

Yesterday, we buried Rufus, my neighbour’s dog. The funeral cost a whooping Sh20,000! Just imagine.

Rufus was an American citizen dog and enjoyed all the full rights of being American. He was entitled to good health and a medical insurance, freedom of speech, a walk at least twice a day and proper care.

It was heart-wrenching to watch my bereaved neighbour, Sharon, weep her heart out for her beloved Chihuahua, Rufus. Tears flowed freely down her face as she removed this dog, the love of her life from his little coffin, kissed the corpse fondly and placed it in the hollow grave.

As the funeral committee of only three members, we bought the deceased a nice black funeral dress at Sh2,000, a little wooden coffin at Sh2,000, a warm expensive blanket — in case Rufus felt cold in the next world, at Sh2,000 and a white lace to cover the coffin at Sh5,500. Booking for the funeral space was Sh8,500. The caretaker closely supervised the occasion and helped plant lovely flowers around Rufus’ new home.

Sharon invited only members of the committee to the funeral. In Obama-land, funerals for both dog and man are by invitation.

“Rufus died from old age. At 18 years, he got tired and sickly and life quickly ebbed out of him. His teeth fell off and he could not stand dog dentures. He was friendly to all neighbours and welcomed each one home with his fond Chihuahua barks,” eulogised Sharon.

Rufus will be remembered for bringing neighbours together, even those who did not say ‘hi’ to each other, she added.

Here in Obama-land, animals have cemeteries where their loved ones lay them to rest. Dog funeral is usually a very solemn occasion. No politics, is allowed! Haha! Although there are no priests and no Bibles, the dog owner usually wishes their dog a happy and peaceful eternal rest.

The animal may be buried with a thank you card or a plaque on its grave with lots of beautiful flowers. This is followed by an annual memoriam in which the bereaved and her friends — mostly dog lovers — revisit the grave and pray for the soul of the dog, I mean the corpse.

What would my grandfather, Musenangu say? At home, we kicked dogs for nothing and it was okay.

At the funeral service, I pretended that I was crying over Rufus, while deep in my heart, I cried for the waste — for the lives Sh20,000 would have changed at home, for jobless graduates who cannot make ends meet, for orphans and the needy. And finally for me, Baraka; that money would have really helped in restocking my fridge with my delicacy — frog meat!