Why campus dudes will make hit-and-run phrase extinct in August

August is approaching. My campus soldiers are eagerly waiting for the month. It will be a scramble for partition month. The month that's highly coveted and respected by regular campus dudes.

It is when annual renewal is done. Am neither talking of the forthcoming general election nor the campus elections either. It is all about the freshness that's going to hover around our devoted campuses.

Fresh scent, fresh faces, fresh dressing, fresh from high school...freshness everywhere.

By now I bet you have a clue of what am talking about. The continuing lasses are afraid of the month. That's when you hear claims of being used and dumped.

It’s a month when you can easily lure to bed that long time hard-to-get lady that you've been crushing on since you joined campus.

The former campus divas become so friendly...they usually have ill motives, either to pounce on your usual government stipend or to find the lost solace after sorrowful break up.

You can easily domesticate them not in a relationship but as mates. After all, why does a campus lad need a relationship for? Nowadays the eat-and-run phrase has even changed. The hyenas, who bubble in hot blood don't spare the lasses, they eat, eat, eat and eat without tire until the innocent ladies run away.

The campus girl wannabe damsels are now investing most of their time in side hustles. They need new suits come august. The dress code should be more attractive to lure more innocent first years fresh from high school to their dens.

They need rent, remember being a continuing gent, it’s very shameful of you staying in the school's hostels. You need privacy.

You need your room where you can be free to bring any kind of lady that you've dreamed of. A room you can only exile a maximum of one for a week or two if he's weak. Not the congested hostel in the institutions.

They will be drunk by the newly found freedom. Peer pressure will be the order of the day. The fresh campus girl will fall in love with the 'gentlemen'. Bea, sweetpie, hunny and beb will be the order of the day. They will get married to this crooked fellows and move in by the second semester before their contracts end.

Soon the beauty in the campus diva starts whining as we approach the end of the second semester. The hyena becomes tired of the common face in the room. You hear them in troops saying 'why on the same diet daily?

‘Matumbo pia ni nyama.' That's the beginning of trouble. After all the partying, screwing and sexting the semester comes to an end and you go for a long holiday. Communication drops to zero as all parties claim to be held up with tasks at home or jobs.