I can’t help laughing when a pretty campus girl falls

By BILL ODUNGA

Is it gentlemanly to laugh at a lady, especially if she is the talk of the campus and she falls right on her bum?

I do not understand what is happening to me of late, but girls tend to fall in my presence and I am not sure whether it’s a good thing. It’s like I have a character flaw that makes girls fall at my feet. The first one is this exotic Zambian girl.

There is this spot in my campus where dudes sit when they are idle to gossip about campus girls and female lecturers. Whenever my Zambian friend passes by that spot, the tone and subject of the idle talk always has to change. On this particular day, she was walking besides me and then the next thing I know is her scrawny bum hitting the stairs and then her rolling over. I laughed so hard that she got offended and lost concentration on the embarrassment.

Unsurprisingly, the ordeal never made headlines because sometimes you pardon a pretty girl with Chipolopolo demons on her tail when she pulls such stunts.

The next one happened last night. It was the highlight of my week as a matter of fact. This time, the victim was what we like to call ‘pointee’. A curious blend of both luhya and luo genes that endowed her with a rear end so voluptuous, you can spot it on Google maps without zooming. We were walking down the stairs when I suddenly heard an apocalyptic thud. The ground beneath my feet quivered and for a split second, there I thought I heard isikuti drumbeats in my ears. Turning on my side was my poor Rubenesque.

The most hilarious part was the way she dribbled down four steps like a basketball before I held her hand and heaved her up. Her bum was sore — at least that’s what the look on her face told me.

Helpless, I cracked up in mirth and laughed my lungs dry. She wasn’t amused; and with that, out little midnight excursion around school ended at the hostel stairs.

When I asked around, I was told that it wasn’t polite to laugh at a lady. It is not gentlemanly, I was told. However all these people who kept schooling me on how to be a gentleman do not understand how having a good hearty laugh can lighten up what has been primarily a bad day, until a girl drops at their feet.

Come on, the girl will live!