Dealing with difficult colleague

Landing a dream job does not always progress to happily ever after in the workplace. Sometimes, workmates can turn what appeared to be a wonderful career opportunity into hell on earth. Lucy Maroncha spoke to some experts on the cause of this behaviour and how to handle it

In recent times, the saying ‘the boss is always right’ has been overtaken by the understanding that everyone, including the boss, is part of a larger team. In many organisations, a supervisor is now referred to as the ‘team leader’.

Despite this supposedly more relaxed work environment, however, cases of injustice and manipulation, courtesy of supervisors as well as misconduct and insubordination from junior workers are still common. This gives rise to complaints such as ‘this person is difficult to work with’.

The better part of the prime of our lives is spent in the workplace, so there are thousands, perhaps millions, of people trudging through a tormenting working life, feeling shackled to colleagues they cannot stand. Others have quit jobs they otherwise loved because their workmates were intolerable.

So what causes people to be killjoys to their colleagues? Do some workers set out to be difficult on purpose?

Dr John Mburu, a consultant psychiatrist in Nairobi says that some types of behaviour are caused by personality disorders and gives the following examples.

The lone rangers

These people have what Dr Mburu calls Schizoid Personality Disorder (SPD). It is characterised by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards solitude, secretiveness, emotional coldness and basically being loners. These people are elaborate in their work though, at times, they may live in a world of fantasy.

Dealing with these people in the workplace may prove difficult because their general attitude does not make it easy to involve them in group work or to correct them. They do not welcome new ideas because, in their fantasy, they may believe they are a qualified to do everything.

Centre of attention

Histrionic workers are usually very dramatic and tend to constantly seek attention. They express their emotions very strongly in an effort to seek approval. These people can also be very aggressive and battle everything in their path in a bid to be heard.

These are the kind of people who demand to speak at every meeting, whether their comments are appropriate or not, and try to show off with their fancy words and appearance.

Such colleagues may be difficult to work with because they tend to be emotional. They are unhappy unless they are constantly praised and given attention.

Boss’s pet

This is the dependent type of employee. The victim of this disorder is over-reliant on other people to meet their emotional and physical needs.

Dependency manifests itself when a worker cannot leave an abusive workplace and will go out of their way to please the boss for fear of being fired. Sometimes, they have to endure very caustic treatment, especially if the boss is demanding. Colleagues may be unable to understand the fears behind such seemingly cowardly behaviour.

A boss suffering from this disorder may equally be afraid to correct a junior lest they get upset and resign.

Silent and sullen

Avoidant personality disorder leaves its victim staying away from people for fear of humiliation and rejection. A person who is shut down in meetings or whose supervisor criticises all that they do is likely to suffer avoidant personality disorder in the workplace.

The result is a worker who is aloof and remains sullen, especially in the area they imagine they will be ridiculed. Getting such a person to participate in activities or give feedback could be hard.

Paralysing paranoia

The paranoiac is suspicious of every move, even offering to buy him or her a snack over tea-time. A paranoid supervisor can be very tricky to deal with because when you try to learn from them, they might think that you want to prove them wrong. On the other hand, a junior with this disorder is suspicious about being assigned particular tasks.

Dr Mburu recommends that anyone who suspects that they have a trait that makes others uncomfortable should seek psychological counseling before the condition matures into mental disorder.

“There are people who can barely keep their jobs because they have a personality disorder that has not been addressed,” says the doctor, adding that there are also employers who have a high staff turnover because either they have a disorder themselves or are unable to identify the disorders in their employees and address them appropriately.

Disorders aside, some employees are driven by other factors emanating from how they view themselves, their colleagues and their jobs.

Insecurity

Most people think that the fear of being fired is what amounts to job-insecurity. But it could also come about when an individual doubts their ability and tries to defend their position by not allowing anyone else to help or contribute.

Jane Kithambe, a communications practitioner in a non-government organisation, says that her former boss was an accountant and understood nothing about communications.

“I suspect that, for the sake of remuneration, the organisation decided to have someone supervise me so that I did not head the department, “she observes.

Jane says she resigned from her job because she felt that her professional growth was at stake. She further laments that any suggestions she made in the department were termed as insubordination and her supervisor always had something to yell about.

“If she did not know the meaning of a word, then such a word does not exist,” Jane chuckles.

She is happy to have found another job where she says she is well mentored and appreciated because she and her supervisor speak the same language.

Mabel Kadeyi, an administration and human resource coordinator, says it is only practical for people to supervise in a field that they are conversant with.

“If a supervisor does not embrace teamwork and is reserved about new knowledge, it is likely that they may start finding fault with a junior who is aggressive and innovative. On the other hand, if a junior wants to pass a new idea to the boss, they should do it with humility and respect,” Mabel advises.

Too close for comfort

While it is worthwhile to network and have connections, some people abuse their links. John* regrets that he supervises someone connected to the operations director. He laments that this woman absconds her duties and is rude when questioned. When the matter is reported to the operations director, he supports her and accuses John of being unable to mentor.

“I detected trouble during her interview, when he kept calling her by her pet name,” says John, who says that he now has to overwork himself to cover for his junior.

While the relationship between a junior and their supervisor should be friendly, they should avoid being too close after work. Being too close can affect efficiency and professionalism. For instance, a boss who ‘hangs out’ with his juniors until the wee hours may be unable to caution them when they are dozing at their desks the following day.

Grace* says that when she realised that her boss, who had introduced her to the organisation, was coming too close, she had to put a barrier because she knew it would affect her work. But the boss was not happy about this.

“When I kept a safe professional distance, my supervisor behaved like a jilted lover and accused me on trying to kill the department”, Grace remembers. However, the boss finally came to respect her.

But that was not the case for Joyce. She was desperately in need of her job when a CEO offered her a temporary job, which she took as a kingly gift. But she felt forever indebted to the CEO to the extent that the latter would call Joyce to babysit for her when the house-help was away.

“We got closer than I had intended and the outcome was disastrous,” Joyce says.

The boss did not even want Joyce to have other friends, perhaps fearing that she may disclose some of the personal things she knew about the CEO. Finally, she was sacked summarily.