Divorce is a fact of life. It is not avoidable and it can happen at any age. It could happen within the first few years of marriage or after 40 years of marriage. No one knows when the relationship will get to its expiry date. It just happens and you are left wondering how you didn't see it coming.
You probably saw it coming and you lacked the courage to end it as it happens to most of us, but one thing we can't ignore anymore is that marriages end even at 80. In the grand scheme of things, you are really on your own and there's nothing you can do to make a person stay by your side.
Men have adopted a victim complex that can't help them but blame women for the skyrocketing rates of divorce. They attribute this to the fact that most divorce suits are filed by women and they can't help but castigate the modern woman for not being like their grandmothers.
They call her unreliable and selfish, but are modern women really selfish? Men never take their time to understand that people can evolve, nor do they take their time to look at a situation logically to understand why modern women are different from women of older generations.
The reason our grandmothers' marriages lasted so long wasn't because they understood submission in ways we do not. It wasn't because they were not as selfish as the women of today or because they were designed differently from the modern woman. It was because they did not have many options. Society made sure it had caged them.
They were not educated, they did not own land, they had limited access to money and divorce was generally a taboo. Being a single mother was unheard of and because they understood what it took to stay in those marriages, they made sure their daughters and granddaughters were empowered enough to have the choices they couldn't have.
Career women
Every older woman I have ever met has always emphasized the importance of having an education and a career as a woman. Most of these women were married off as teens to men who controlled the capital and that is why if you talk to any of them, you will realize they are completely against the idea of being fully dependent on a man.
I honestly do not think I have ever met an older woman who told me I could depend on a man financially and be fully comfortable. They have always insisted you must have your own money. And yet women are always castigated for being different from those women and it is those women who taught them to be different.
In a world where women have access to money, they will always have choices. What that means for men is that divorce is always going to be on the table. You cannot keep someone by your side forever unless they depend on you for survival and we are way past there. Women now have what men used to have. You could say they are the new men and you wouldn't be wrong.
Our grandfathers got a better deal out of marriages and men of today have to accept that it will never be the same. They have to accept that you cannot disappear for years and come back home to a woman who has been praying for your return.
They have to accept that they cannot be bad partners and expect that a woman will still tolerate them. She has the option of divorce and she most probably has enough money to buy the affection of a younger and more physically able lover.
When people have choices, they start thinking of love and happiness, and if they are not happy with you, they could always leave to find fulfillment elsewhere. Ending up alone has now become a fact of life for men.
The possibility of ending up in a nursing home is also becoming a fact of life and we all have to accept that we will never go back to the old days of "till death do us part"
Those days are behind us and the new order is here. You can either adjust and restructure your life outside the confines of marriage or you can sink into bitterness, blaming women for having options.
